As Opposed to Those Impersonal Installations

It's almost that time of year: Christmas lights everywhere. I saw this sign at an intersection near my house.  Please click the picture to enbiggen.

Really? "Custom Fit To Home"?  Is there any other way to install lights on a house?  Maybe there is a company out there that will only install lights in a straight line for 50 feet, no matter the length of your roofline.

That's Just Good Advice in General

This was sent to me by field correspondent Poppa Scott.  Please click the picture to enbiggen.

This is the user manual for a floor lamp.  Obviously English is not the first language of the author and I love text that has been poorly translated into English as it usually results in some gems.  For example, let's zoom in on that number two:

I would really like to know what they were trying to convey.  Complications?  Hazards?  Deathtraps?

That's Assistant to the Pork Chop

 I saw this a bit ago and it made me giggle.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Now I know it means "assorted pork chops" but I cannot help but read "assistant pork chop".  I wonder what that job description looks like...

WARNING! Warning Is Here!

 One of my coworkers, Pottery, saw this while visiting one of the other offices.  It's probably not necessary but you can click the pic to enbiggen, if you wish.

I would really like to know the situations that lead to that sign being put up.  I've spent more time than I care to admit but cannot come up with any plausible explanation.  Any fan theories?

Cheese Fries Are Southern Cooking?

 Today's submission comes from longtime correspondent, Jubblies.  Please click the picture to enbiggen.

Ah, restaurants being funny with their slogans.  Always a good time.   Throw in a rhyme and a slight double entendre in there for a bonus and you have a winner. 

Actually, I might start using "in your mouth" in place of "that's what she said"...

James May's Ice Cream Parlor

 This will likely be the last of the Europe series, simply because I don't want to sort through all the pictures any more.  Please click the picture to enbiggen.

This store was closed when we walked past so we were not able to go in and see what exactly they sell.  Also, I'm not really sure exactly how the name is supposed pronounced.  Is it "Oh, my cream!" or "Oh my, cream!" ?  In any case, the exclamation point is really doing most of the work here.

Fresh Baked Nightmares

Our trip through Europe continues with a stop at a bakery. Click to enbiggen, if you think it's a good idea.

These monstrosities were proudly displayed in a window for everyone to see.  There is far too much going on to cover everything but the most disturbing thing for me are the raisin eyes, staring into one's soul.

In case you are wondering, the little sign reads "Only available to order" so you cannot make an impulse purchase of haunted bread.  Sorry.

Accommodations, In a Manner of Speaking

We continue with our Europe series with this sign that I saw from the bus.  Clicken to enbiggen.

This is sort of a inn.  Somewhat a place to stay.  In a sense, lodging.  And so on.

One Out Of Three Ain't Bad

 I was going through my pics and came across the ones I took while in Europe last year.  Most are beautiful landscapes and majestic architecture. There were also a number of WTFotos.

Here is the first in the Europe series.  Please click the picture to enbiggen.

Pig Ear Man.  Catering & More.  A cow in a suit.  Yep, it's all coming together.

Join us... JOIN US....

I saw this delivery truck a couple weeks ago.  Something about it caught my attention.  Please click the picture to enbiggen.

"OPEN your soul..."  That is a terrifying concept for a job.  Most days I'm barely able to give my full attention to my job; there is no way it's getting anywhere near my "soul".

Note:  The "Stop Human Trafficking" sticker seems to be a bit incongruitous to the rest of the vibe.