This Post Is Labeled A Post

Long-time field correspondent Lord Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq. brings us today's post.

He writes:

I was assembling a deck box and appreciating how well the manufacturer labeled the parts. I then noticed that the bag holding the hinges had conveniently been labeled ‘bag’.  I thought I might open it and find a bag inside the ‘bag’ but no, the ‘bag’ containing the hinges was identified for my ease of assembly.

 

Maybe This Has Something To Do With Chistmas

I see the this sign every morning the garage where I park.

I don't know what a ginch is but an 8 foot one sounds terrifying.

I Don't Even Know What To Call This

This is a picture of a neighbor's mailbox from last week.

That's Big Bird looking very... intense on that mailbox. Good day, citizens!

He Had A Dream

I forgot that I had taken this picture when we went to Las Vegas back in January.  You may click the picture to engiggen.

Now we know how Freemont is answering MLK's quote: "Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'"

On The Crest Of Value

We haven't heard from Field Correspondent Shu in a while.  Let's go to him now.

The new economy has required creativity in marketing and Crest and Kroger are at the forefront. Novice shoppers might believe they're getting a deal by purchasing two single tubes of toothpaste at $2.79 each or $5.58 total. But experienced shoppers will see through the facade and for just an additional one dollar and one penny, they'll go for the VALUE 2 PACK.

16.95 Proof Cola

I was given this receipt after having lunch a couple weeks ago.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

If I may draw you attention to the line just below "Subtotal".  Am I'm subsidizing someone's Pepsi habit (I drank water with lunch)?

For The Father Who Has Everything

Today's post comes from SchnurF.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

He writes:
Happy Father's Day!  Let me remind you of a choice you could have made!

Sentient Vapors

A day late but here we are.  Click the pictures to enbiggen.

I was doing a project that required contact cement.  As a diligent person, I read the instructions, where I saw this:

"VAPORS CAN TRAVEL TO ANY SOURCE OF HEAT, SPARK OR FLAME IN THE NEXT ROOM OR BASEMENT."  Holy crap!  This stuff will actively seek out a way to kill you.  And, just to drive this home, here is a diagram of how it will do it.

Shopper Smurf?

Today's post is from field correspondent, Pappa P.  Click the pic to enbiggen.

Anyone know what a customerf is?

Kinda Like Sweeping It Under The Rug

Today's post from Outlaw was actually sent to me a couple months ago and got buried in my inbox.  Sorry, Outlaw.  

He writes:
Today is my daughter's birthday, she turns one year old. To help suppress my emotions I've been joking that my wife and I have done a phenomenal job of keeping a helpless tiny human alive for one full year. You know, because it's not about her, it's about us being successful parents... That's cause enough to celebrate, yeah? Joking aside... We've started a tradition, as many parents do, of documenting her growth over each month up to this day. We've been taking photos of her on a blanket printed with numbers (for each month to document) as well as a rough measurement to gauge her height. The blanket, which comes with a simple "frame" to mark the month, was a gift from friends when she was born. What you're looking at here is the back of the bag that the blanket/frame came in. It's a little odd, the back of it being a sort of mesh fabric while the face of the bag is clear plastic. It took me a full year to notice that the "Made in China" mark on the back was actually a sticker rather than being printed on like the rest of the warning. 

I didn't want it falling off on its own allowing my kid to find it and immediately stick it in her mouth (if you don't already know, that's what most kids do with something they discover) so I peeled it off to throw it away. I now see why they put the sticker on the bag. 

Not quite a "bad translation" moment, but at least they realized the mistake. I'm guessing that thousands of these things were printed and it was just easier to cover it than scrap the lot and start again. 

Size Matters

We haven't heard from Lord Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq. in quite a while and the wait has been worth it.  Please clicken to enbiggen.

I have nothing to add to what he says:
It is like my penis - 9 inches flaccid but it turns into a softball when excited.

Before The Double Entendre Was Invented

This is another pic from our ski trip in Colorado.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Please believe me that I am not making fun of this veteran who served our county with great honor.  I am, however, questioning the judgement of his parents when it came time for naming.  Can you imagine having that name today?  "Of course you can trust me or my name isn't Dick Over".

If You Have An Ounce Of Decency

These signs were on a bathroom door in a liquor store we went to while in Colorado.  Click to enbiggen if you wish.

Lots of good stuff here:
 1. Clarifying that "deucing" is a "#2"
 2. The pleading
 3. Mr. Hanky behind the symbol
 4. In English and Spanish (though not a full translation)
 5. The fact that things happened enough to cause someone to actually make this sign

Location, Location, Location

Today's post comes from everyone's favorite field correspondent, Shu.  Click the pic to enbiggen.

Somebody just didn't think this through.

Strawberry Or Cherry?

When I was checking in to the hotel on a recent trip, I saw this.  Click to enbiggen.

Do you see it?  Under the toiletries heading?  Let me zoom in on that for you:

Someone mistook "twizzer" (which isn't a word) for tweezers.  And it's been on display since.  All for me.

Elegant and Free

I was browsing for a new watch face when I found this option.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Now, I'm no expert but I never would have thought that could be elegant and certainly not free.

TripAdvisor 5-Stars

Sorry that it's been a while.  You know, life.

In any case, today's post comes from the ever brilliant Outlaw.

He writes:

Morgan, I've got a few questions about your "motel"... 

- So... where do you check in? For that matter, I'm curious to know if I'll be allowed to check out.

- Is this one of those motels where each room has a specific theme? Mechanic, auto garage or 80's horror movie perhaps? 

- What's with the windows? Perhaps it's just the angle, but each one looks like a different size.

- This building sits, literally, ten feet from the road... what about parking? Silly me, just pull into your personal garage space. 

- is the "shower" more like a car wash bay, or do you just have to stand under the pipe sticking out the side of the building where it says "shower" and let the rest of small town Hooterville see you as nature intended?

- Does this place have wifi, or at least AM radio?

- Will complimentary breakfast be served on a hubcap, or in a basket with a bottle of lotion?

I'm not entirely impressed with Morgan's Motel. I mean, at least Motel 6 has a slogan stating that they'll keep the light on for ya. Morgan's doesn't even have a light. At least invest in a neon that says "Die Here" or something. You're not selling me. You may want to go with a more multifaceted approach like "Morgan's Outdoor Shower, Tire Salon and Dungeon". Hard pass from me, sir.

Not Creepy If You Don't Think About It Too Much

BeerGirl and I went on a trip last month and the hotel generously offered these waters for the modest cost of $5.00.  That's not the reason this is here.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Right next to that $5.00 is the line "A charge will be added to you account upon consumption".  UPON CONSUMPTION.  How do they know?  Cameras?  Fluid sensing bottle?  Spy ghosts?  However it is determined, as soon as you finish that bottle of water, BAM, $5.00 added to you bill.

Then It Must Be A Jar!

I saw this a couple weeks ago in one of the parking garages.

Now, I'm no architect nor carpenter but this here portal has hinges, a handle and even a closer so it's a good thing this is labeled as I would have been sure it is a door.