Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Too Stoned To Know If You're Stoned?

Today's submission comes from field correspondent, Outlaw...

The dollar store, I've discovered, is a fine place to get cleaning supplies for super cheap. Granted, you won't find everything you need at such a price, but you might wander upon something you least expect. Normally I don't pay much attention to anything other than what I'm there for, but I'm glad I saw this. I actually had to stop and go back to make sure that I saw what I thought I saw. 



I'm going to be perfectly honest here, I wasn't even aware that there were at home drug tests like this. Then again... I suppose there might be a market for those who enjoy smoking from time to time and might be worried about a random drug test, or perhaps they have a job interview coming up. Who knows. Now, the pregnancy test I get. Signs pop up where you wonder, you don't know for sure and you need an answer... But how blitzed do you have to be that you need to administer your OWN test to see if you've smoked pot? "Wow man... Did I smoke last night? No... Nah, I'm sure I didn't... Then again, I am really hungry for Doritos's and pizza... I could put away a case of Mountain Dew... Maybe I'm high? Nah... Maybe... Shit, I'd better get tested..."

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Generic, Slightly Racist, Seasoning

I saw this while shopping the other day.  Click the picture to enbiggen.


The good folks at Family Gourmet are selling genuine "Soul Food Seasoning".  Hmmm, let's delve into this a bit.  Wikipedia has a list of soul food which includes extremely varied foods from fried chicken to pickled pigs feet to sweet potato pie.  I highly doubt that there is one seasoning which one would want to use in all of these recipes.  I guess there is a possibility that Family Gourmet doesn't really know what soul food is.  I wonder what the percentage is of Caucasians working there...

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

If It's STD, You Don't Pee

I was sent this a while ago by someone and I cannot recall who.  Let me know and I will provide proper credit.


If you're here at the STD (sex) clinic (doctor) because your genitalia (hooha or wee wee) is causing discomfort (ouchies), your urine (pee) will be needed for diagnostics (tests) to determine (figger out) what your diagnoses (how much antibiotic) is.

Also, stop sleeping around and keep it in your pants for a while.