Nothing Creepy Here. Please Move Along.

I showed up to work the other day and saw this in the business next door.  Click to enbiggen.

I'm sure there is a perfectly logical explanation of what that is and why it's sitting in a chair in the lobby but I sure don't know what it would be.  Also, I was the only one in the office that morning so I seriously thought about just leaving.  That thing is no longer there so I don't know if it was taken somewhere or is currently roaming the city happily killing children.

Intimates For Proto-Furries

I usually don't reveal the name of the location where I take pics but this one will be an exception: I saw this at Wal-Mart.  Please click the picture to enbiggen.

So much to work with here.  There's the creepy panda thing on the right, Jack Skellington all the way to the left, the general weirdness beside those.  But let's focus on the on in the center; the Mrs. Potatohead.  Complete with eyes.  Even if it was not located under a sign claiming its intimacy, it would still have shown up here.  It is just so disturbing.

Is It My Birthday?

I saw this at a local liquor store.  Click to enbiggen.

I've seen a number of these coin pusher machines around.  The concept is that you drop in a quarter in hopes that it lines up perfectly to push other quarters off, that you then get to keep.  It is obviously a game of skill and in no way gambling. I've seen them with names like "Silver Falls", "Silver Strike" and "The Royal Treasure".  This one is called "Bonus Hole".  Why it is called "Bonus Hole" I do not know, but "Bonus Hole" it is.  "Bonus Hole".

Line Breaks Change Meaning

We have more from Costa Rica coming but I found this pic that I look a couple weeks ago and it needed to be seen.  You may click the pic to enbiggen.

Of course this was at one of those tchotchke-laden crappy decoration stores.  Please direct your attention to the smaller sign in the middle.  I have to believe the intent is a riff of the Wizard of Oz, as in "Come in, my pretties".  However, the placement of the words have turned it into a completely different offer.

Happy Halloween!

Still more from Costa Rica.  Click the picture to enbiggen if you dare.

One of the places we stayed in Costa Rica as Tortuguero, a small town adjacent to a national park.  It is a very lovely place in every aspect except for one: this trash can.  Yes, they are expecting people to risk losing a hand by putting it in that clown's mouth simply to discard some rubbish.  I decided to hold on to my items and discard them in the hotel waste basket.

Attack Of The Killer Citrus

The Costa Rica series continues with this air freshener I saw in a restaurant restroom.  You my click if you wish to enbiggen.

That is the friendliest terror I have ever seen.  Nice colors, welcoming font, pleasant scent.  But terror it is, none the less.

Ritchie Valens Ruins Menu

Fellow WTFotoers, I present the first post in the Costa Rica series.  The recent trip presented a veritable cornucopia of pics and today's comes from our newest field correspondent, CR Viking.  Please click the picture to enbiggen.

Do you see it?  Focus on the last Spaghetti option.  Spelling is always important but never as much as when using Google Translate.  Perhaps they were listening to La Bamba while working on this and the line "Yo no soy marinero, soy capitán" got stuck in their head.  In any case, we are left with nautical pasta (which would be an awesome grunge band name).

Knowledge Is Power!

Today's submission is also from Mrs. Griz.  She found this treasure while cleaning out her family's farm.  As always, click to enbiggen.

When did we stop giving manuals to new wives?  Actually, since this is a series, does that make it an encyclopedia for young wives?  In any case, I think we need to bring this back.  I've spoken with some newly wedded women lately and it is clear that they need some kind of training.

Ewe Knead Too Reed Sine

Hello WTFotoers!  I'm back from Central America and have some good pics.  But those will be for future posts.

Mrs. Griz sent me this a while ago and I'm finally getting it up (heh). Click the picture to enbiggen.

Homophones are hard.  However, if you are driving here, he'd this sign, paws and remain stationery.   If knot, Yule learn you're lessen ore you may dye.

Sammy Hagar Reprises Classic Song

I pulled up behind this truck on the way to one of my clients.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

I'm not sure engine governors are quite that precise. And why 57? Who decided that is the magic top speed for this vehicle.  It allows the driver to barely speed in 55 MHP zones and not be able to go the speed limit on pretty much any highway.  Seems like reasonable constraint.

Now Hiring or SOS

Today's post comes from the ever prolific field correspondent, Shu.  If you wish, you may click the picture to enbiggen.

The sign at this truck stop in Ohio is a bit ambiguous.  Are they hiring kitchen help or do they need someone to call 911?  Or perhaps they have a big order and want the next customer to slip on an apron and help them out.

Well, That Defeats The Purpose

Today we have another awesome presentation from Lord Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

I'll let him explain in his own words:
The Mrs. and I were standing in a line when she pointed this out.  Sorry about the fuzziness of the picture but it is hard to focus on something behind glass.  Especially braille, behind glass. 
I do think I deserve extra credit for the most inappropriate place to be taking a WTFoto picture, as we were in the receiving line at a funeral when this was spotted. 

Gonna Tread Lightly Here

I wonderful friend whom I haven't seen in years sent these to me.  A friend of hers, Big Me, saw this establishment while visiting the Wisconsin Dells.  This is one post in which enbiggening probably isn't necessary.

I had a very long internal conversation about posting this but it's just so... odd, to put it out there like this.  I'm sure that is a nickname of some sort but, come on.  I'll leave you with a second sign, which is somehow even worse.

Oh. Wow.

I saw this prominently displayed in the building lobby of one of my clients.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

I understand that exercise is important, especially as one ages.  This, however, is just weird.  Is the phrase "on weights" something that weight trainers use?  "I'm going to get on some weights and get swoll"?  And is using a barbell logo really the best way to lure older women to your gym?  Reader insights are welcome.

Not All Stereotypes Are Inaccurate

A day late, I know.  I was under the weather yesterday.  Anywho, BeerGirl took this picture on one of her numerous work trips and sent it to me.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Ahh, government workers; the butt of so many jokes.  There's too many of them, they get so many days off, don't do much work.  Signs like this don't do much to help that perception.  I have to note that it does not say that work MUST be performed between 8:31 AM and 4:54 PM...

Dance For The Health Of It

Today's post comes from Mrs. Musicmannnnnn (I never know how many 'n's to use).

She asks "Does using this shampoo bring back epic dance moves?"  While that is certainly a possibility, I think it's the other way around; kind of like Saturday Night Fever Zumba.

Fake news. Zero enthusiasm found. Sad.

Okay, so this is a WTScreenshot but it is still very good.  Field correspondent Outlaw captured this and sent it my way.  Click to enbiggen.

"Network news has become so partisan, distorted and fake that licenses must be challenged and, if appropriate, revoked.  Not fair to public!"

A Gift From The WTFoto Fairy

I was browsing through some old pictures from a decade ago when I found this.  I have no idea where it came from so if one of you sent it to me, let me know and I'll give credit where it is most definitely due.  Click the picture to enjoy full enbiggening.

This is simply genius.  And before you think it was some shopper who did this, note that the magnifying glasses do indeed have a price tag on the shelf.

Breast Fortune Cookie Advice

I had Chinese for lunch last week and when I cracked open my fortune cookie, this is what was inside.

First and foremost: this is not a fortune.  Second, who is this for?  If I was a woman (which I am not, despite what some say) I would be offended.  As a male, I'm just confused.  I understand that some men take the machismo way too far but should even they enhance their femininity at that moment?  And the use of the word "enhance" puts a really creepy vibe to this whole thing. That phrase is usually reserved for plastic surgeons describing a certain procedure.

Three's A Crowd. And Illegal.

Regular correspondent Lord Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq. was at one of the local fraternal organizations when this sign caught his attention.  Clicken to enbiggen. 

He writes:
Party at the Lodge!!  I was at the (fraternal order) lodge last week for their BBQ event and saw this sign.  It wasn't near a closet, toilet stall or utility room.  I am sure there is some rational explanation but it escaped me what it could be.  So if you are headed there, bring a friend, but not two friends. 

Two Simple Steps

We purchased some patio furniture a bit ago which came with some assembly required.  These are the instructions that were included for the chairs.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Step-by-step assembly instructions:
  Step 1: Assemble chair
  Step 2: Place cushion on newly assembled chair.
Additional steps not necessary.

Not For Use With Message Boards

I saw this a couple weeks back at a Radio Shack that was (surprise!) closing.  Click to enbiggen.

Streaming media is multimedia that is constantly received by and presented to an end-user while being delivered by a provider.  So do not try to use it for any pages that do not have video.  It simply will not work.  Luckily, if you do happen across a website with multimedia, you're golden because this works with ALL BRANDS.

Also, this isn't a thing:

Instructional Graffiti

Here's another contribution from Field Correspondent Shu, with bonus points for the Ren and Stimpy reference.  Click to enbiggen.

Sighted at an Ohio rest area, nobody would know what would happen if you pressed the button without the makeshift ID. Maybe something good. Maybe something bad. But we'll never know because you're not going to press the button. Heh. Heh Heh.

The Glossy Goat!

I saw this quaint business when I was at a neighboring town working for a client.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

I have heard many goat idioms in my life.  Get one's goat, act the goat, eats like a goat.  I have never hear of glossing a goat.  I have no idea how that would happen.  Does one shellac the goat (which is now a phrase I shall use regularly)?  And once one has a shiny goat, what does one do with it?  So many questions.

Now That's A Good Deal

I saw this the other day whilst grocery shopping.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

I may have to get into the onion resale business.

I Adore A Door

Today's post is from the ever-prolific field correspondent, Shu.  As always, click the picture to enbiggen.

This was at a hotel where I stayed a short while back.  I figure there are three possibilities:
     1) Deliberate mischief;
     2) Last person to use the door can't read;
     3) Someone put the sign on the wrong door.
For good or bad, as many times as I walked past the door, I didn't witness any door-related calamities.

No One Wants A Derivative Combo

Field correspondent BeerGirl took this pic of a Waffle House marque and shared it with me.  Clicken to enbiggen.

Does one need to be an original gangster to order it?  Like Al Capone and Bugsy Siegel can eat it but Biggie and Tupac had better not? And none of them would even go to a Waffle House anyway seeing as there aren't any on the Boardwalk.

If It's A Lil' Chub Do You Need Super Lube?

Today's post is courtesy of Dr. Schnurm (he's not a real doctor, but he is a real Schnurm; he is an actual Schnurm).  Click the picture to enbiggen.

I know that clearance racks are usually pretty random but this is more so than most.  It is interesting to note that the Super Lube is "Food Grade" and "Clean".

Something To Ponder, How Does He Know The Quantity?

Today's fantastic post comes from field correspondent LT, who receives the Gold Star of WTFoto for this.  Presented without comment.  Click to enbiggen.

Two X Chromosomes Per Crossing, Please

BeerGirl found a couple more pictures from her trip to London and sent them my way.  You may click the pictures to make them enbiggen.

This is an odd requirement. Apparently the English must cross the streets in pairs.  A crossing buddy if you will.  Hmmm, those figures look a bit masculine but I'm sure it's just me...

Or maybe not.  Here we have a paired-male-only crossing.  If they have separate street crossings for every sexual orientation, I can't imagine that there would be any room for cars.

What's In A Name?

In the second installment of our vehicle miniseries, here is a truck I saw in traffic the other day.  As always, click the picture to enbiggen.

Solid waste recycling is extremely important to the environment and economy, but seriously, CRAM-A-LOT?  I would love for their product line to actually be bighorn rams that just run around headbutting boxes.

Watch Out Uber and Lyft

I saw this vehicle on the way to work the other day.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

There is just so much to look at here.  Clearly, this is a ride sharing service but that's not the only thing they have in their life.  They enjoy the company of canines ("I ❤ My Pit Bull", etc ), are Red Wings fans, support firefighters, can haul your trailer and support LGBT(TQQIAAP) rights.  Oh yeah, they're also handicapped.

Or Maybe It's A Prostate Thing

Today's post comes from our newest field correspondent, MJ, who saw this recently on her way to New Orleans.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

In case you cannot see the fine print it says "DON'T PEE IN THE FLOOR THANK YOU HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!!

 Two things:
1. Men in the rural South apparently need a sign to direct them away from urinating on the floor.
2. Is the bold text instruction for opening the door or conducting a bowel movement? I would feel confident it’s the former if not for the following direction regarding urination location.

It Starts So Animal Friendly

I saw this recently at a local tree-hugging cafe.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Now, I have no problems with anyone who has convictions about animals and decides to have a diet that respects those convictions, but who puts eggs and beef bacon on a vegan biscuit???

Only Two Things Are Certain In Life

Today's post comes from field correspondent AS.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

This is just awesome.  Those two things go together like peas and carrots.  I wonder if this was intended for the greeters. DO NOT DELAY, because if you do, you may be be guaranteed either the gift certificate or death.

A Warning Won't Fix That

In the process of moving into the new place we found a tin full of keys.  One of them was for a lawn mower, which included a PSA on the key chain. The front is fine.

However the back is, well...

So the message here is don't park your lawn mower on your child's head.

I Just Wish It Wasn't So Vague

Field correspondent PSYCHO(logist) got this "fortune" and sent a picture my way.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

In bed.

I Swear, My Dreams Just Fell Out Of My Pocket

Our newest correspondent, Ms. Sensei, snapped this picture and sent it my way.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

The problem is that this sign leaves of a LOT of items: loose change, small pets, the Magna Carta, expectations for your children, a VHS copy of the movie Down The Drain, a tree, a bumblebee, a clock, a big rock...  well, you get the idea.

Pssst! That's Not A Shelf.

I know, wrong holiday but I was rummaging though my phone and found this gem from earlier this year.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Sure, it's much easier to just print a bunch of the same signs and stick them everywhere but some of us would appreciate the extra effort.  Or not.

New Year's Eve Party!

We have a special New Year's Eve edition of What The Foto thanks to the ever prolific Shu.  Click the picture to enbiggen and have a great new year!

Who: Spare Change, Train Wreck, DJ Dog
What: New Year's Eve Party
When: New Year's Eve
Why: To party on New Year's Eve
Where: Uh...Uh...Uh...Dilly Dilly!