Maybe It's A Flomax Dispenser

Correspondent Bolo sent this one my way. It's a bit subtle but read the name of the product mounted above the urinal. Now, I know that it is a deodorizing system but there are two things wrong with it. First, there isn't any tubing from it to the urinal so it's pretty much just a decoration. Secondly, it is named DRIPMASTER. I think they chose that name to be particularly cruel to those guys who are shy pee-ers.

Now Featuring Volume Control and Power Switch!

This product is a little hard to explain. It is apparently an FM radio that is basically a poster (click the image to enbiggen). It's a gimmick and it is basically embracing that. Why it has ended up here is the bulleted list of "features". Tune in your favorite FM stations: okay I can live with this though I have some serious doubts about its antenna. The last one, Volume Control, is starting to stretch it. It's the On/Off Switch bullet that I have a problem with. Isn't that the bare minimum of any radio? If this thing cannot be turned on, it's just a poster. If it can't be turned off, it's one of those annoying speaker birthday cards.

Ejaculate & Evacuate

This is a chain of convenience stores in the area. I'm not sure who decided that this is the best name for a business. I get the gist: Get in and out quickly. But, really? Were the founders really that clueless? Or is this simply a joke that somehow has lasted? And the spelling is nice as well. Since I try to keep this site safe for work, I will end my post here but feel free to add your thoughts in the comments.

I Guess I Do Worship Beer

The other day I was served a beer on top of this coaster (click the picture to enbiggen). I didn't think much about it at first, then the phrase "alternative worship service" caught my eye. Apparently, there is a church that is REALLY reaching out to the sinners. I'm pretty sure that this is the first time I have seen a worship service advertised in a bar. And directly underneath my beer no less. That is targeted marketing. BTW, I have no idea what was redacted with the magic marker; it was that way when I got it.

Engrish: Close But No Cigar

I love products that are made in countries where English is not the primary language. Here is an example of that (click the picture to enbiggen). This one got most things right, but there are a couple things that are just off the mark. Let's start at the top: "Like real BBQ firelight & grillsound!" Like real? OMG! It is sooooo bitchin'! And while "firelight" is a real English word, "grillsound" is not. The best part is the food they included: steak and hamburger steak (a little redundant), cheese (okay), 2 bread (not buns?), a sausage (I guess that happens) and a cucumber (completely missed the target with that one). Gives an interesting insight on how other countries imagine our cookouts to be.

Trash For Sale!!!

FieryK's friend "P" took this picture and sent it my way.

Ever found yourself wandering endlessly around the grocery store, getting more and more frustrated because, while the milk, eggs, and bread are easy enough to find, you really need to stock up on trash and they always put it in the darnedest places? Finally, a store that feels your pain. There's the trash aisle! It's aisle 14. And right next to the air fresheners - how thoughtful!

Did The Duke Ever Go Directly To Jail?

Correspondent Bat sends in another...
John F-ing Wayne of the United F-ing States of America has a Monopoly game named after him. A collector’s edition no doubt. What would we do without SkyMall? Pilgrim.

Editor's Note: Somehow the phrase "Buy, sell and trade the most significant properties in John Wayne's professional and personal life..." makes me feel dirty. Clearly John Wayne Enterpeises is only trying to honor him and NOT, in any way, simply trying to make a quick profit.

Mr. King, I Have A Story Idea For You

We played laser tag for TMDA's birthday recently. In addition to the tagging via laser beams, there was an arcade. It consisted of about three games you might recognize and the rest, games like this:
I'd offer for you to enbiggen by clicking, but I don't want to be responsible for it eating your soul. Seriously, that thing pegs the Creepy Meter all the way to the right. I think you have some sort of ball that is supposed to be tossed into Big Bertha's disturbingly glowing large mouth. I say that I THINK that is the way it is played because there is no way I was going to put a quarter into that thing. I seen enough Twilight Zones to know that is how evil is unleashed on the world and I really have enough in my life to deal with at the moment.