The Definition of Irony

This wonderful machine is located at one of our local seafood eateries. If you can’t tell (or cannot believe) what it is, let me elucidate. It is one of those claw machine games, but instead of playing for candy or crappy trinkets you are trying to catch a LIVE LOBSTER. For the low price of $2.00 you can go fishin’ for a lobster dinner. The restaurant even promises to cook your catch for free. I think the best (worst?) thing is that you are using a claw to snag the lobster. Maybe the lobsters don’t mind it as much that way…

Verrrry Specific Fine

This is a bit difficult to make out, but the sign reads “RED LIGHT RUNNING $183.50 FINE.” (click to enbiggen picture). The fine is $183.50?!? How did that become the appropriate amount for a fine? I hear see the city council session: “What should we make the fine for running red lights? No one will take a $183 fine seriously, but $184 is waaay too much. What to do, what to do?” I guess the sign is there to ensure that violators bring exact change to their court appearance.

Night Court

Here is an example of how the lack of proper grammar can change your intended meaning. I’m pretty sure that they mean “loitering or trespassing between midnite (sic) & 7 AM daily will be prosecuted.” What they ended up saying is “we will prosecute loitering and trespassing on a daily basis between the hours of midnite (sic) and 7 AM.” How much do you have to pay a graveyard shift judge?

All Boyz Party

While in Orlando recently, I saw these signs on the doors of a closed restaurant. I can appreciate the explicit directions (name of club, address of club, directions and a landmark), but I wonder about the location. Why were they on a closed restaurant? Did the restaurant close because of the "Boyz"? Is the previous proprietor one of the "Boyz"? Did any non-"Boyz" try to crash the party? Could I become one of the "Boyz" even though I the wrong color and sexual orientation? So many questions…

Fetus at Work!

Sorry for the terrible picture, but I was once again trying to be subtle about the picture taking. In case you are wondering, her shirt reads “Too Young To Be Born.” I guess the child labor laws are verrry lax around here. And just for the record, she was definitely NOT too young to have yet been born.

A Hell of a Bargin

This excellent example of a "What The Foto" comes courtesy of our local Relay for Life. This booth was located right next to us and there was something that just didn’t seem right about that sign. It took Momo to point it out to me: they are offering face PAINING, not PAINTING (click picture for enbiggened goodness). For the low, low price of $1.00 they will inflict pain directly on your face. There are parts of the world where you would have to pay twice that for face paining. Living in the Midwest is great for the budget-conscious masochist.

It's a vending manchine for... To buy... Awww CRAP!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is actually an iPod vending machine. Deep in the heart of the Atlanta airport lives this machine. In addition to iPods, you can get speakers, headphones or even the random GPS. So if you have a couple of extra hundred bucks burning a hole in your pocket, have I got a place for you to spend it. This may be the first sign of the apocalypse.

Used Donkey!!

This is why you don't buy a used donkey. How are you supposed to get rid of the goats? Is there anti-goat shampoo?

What are they trying to commemorate?

I was recently in Atlanta for training and this statue was near my hotel. I think the subject is supposed to be dancing, but it sure looks like he just got shot in the back.

A new wedding tradition?

I DJ on the side. This was at the last wedding reception I worked. In case you are as confused as I was, yes, that is a wedding piñata.