Key & Peele Approved Soda

Our newest field corespondent, Allute, saw this while dining out recently and sent it my way.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Mayhap their waiter was Australian:
"What can I get everyone to drink?  You want a Diet Pepsi?  NOICE!  And you also want a Diet Pepsi?  NOICE!  And for you?  A Diet Pepsi, as well?  NOICE!  Last but not least?  A fourth Diet Pepsi??  NOICE!!!

Good Luck Sleeping Tonight

I saw these things in the basement of a dental client at my previous job.  Click to enbiggen (if you dare).

What we have here, my friends, are a stuffed monkey and donkey both sporting human teeth.  I assume that the intent was to show kids how to properly brush their teeth but these existential nightmares most likely simply scarred the children for life.  And thus they are in the basement, plotting their revenge.

Too Much Of A Good Thing?

Field correspondent, JG, snapped this pic and sent it to me.  No need to enbiggen this one.

He says:
I like bacon just as much as the next guy but I didn’t know this was a thing. Do you just eat it straight or does it come with sides?

In my opinion, bacon stands alone and needs no accompaniments.  Except maybe a defibrillator.

Clip Proximity Ban

I saw this at a client's office when I was at my previous job.

I think what they are getting at with this sign is that they do not want paperclips going through the document feeder of the copy machine.  Or maybe that isn't actually a copy machine but actually an MRI and they don't want paperclips flying around.  Or maybe they're just idiots.

How Do You Know It’s Time To Go To The Bathroom? The Clock Says It’s Poo-thirty.

Another excellent submission from Lord Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq.  Please clicken to enbiggen.

He writes:
I'm in a government building in Jefferson City when I spotted this gem.  I think I understand what they are trying to convey.  I think they are suggesting that some wall-hating snowflakes may be sensitive to your perfume so now nobody can smell nice at the office.  But the placement of this in the bathroom (both on the mirror, and on the door on the way out), gave the appearance that they wanted me to use some sort of trap-a-crap or poo-pourri if I were to bless the building with the bounty of my bowels.  As much as I wanted to make a stink statement in protest, my breakfast burrito was not yet locked 'n loaded, and the premises were not friendly.  So you get this pic instead - enjoy.

Should Have Called It 'That's What She Said (She Shed?) Storage'

Today's excellent contribution is courtesy of Outlaw.  Click the picture if you would like to enbiggen it.

This is all Outlaw:
Having trouble finding the spot to store that package? Looking for a nice place to hide that tool you aren't using? Is it your first time? Well, we're here to help! Bring that thing out and "STICK IT HERE"! Anyone in the community will tell you that our little hot spot is a safe and inviting location to stick your stuff! Worried about space? Worry no more! With over 40 years of experience our location has expanded enough to accommodate just about anything you want to put in here! Need a smaller space? We invite you to stick it in the back! Our "back door" units are rarely used but provide the perfect amount of space to stuff your junk, even if for just a short amount of time. And if you think you're bringing more than we can handle, we can assure you that flexibility is not an issue. We'll let you stick it in multiple spaces! So grab your stuff, bring your friends and we'll set you up to STICK IT HERE!

Where Sheldon Cooper Fills Up

Sometimes I wonder if this is my blog or Shu's but here is his latest contribution.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Price of gas holding steady at $3.14159 9/10 per gallon.

If It Looks Like A Duck...

I found this picture hiding on my desktop, which I took at a cabin we were staying at for a certain couple's wedding.  Click to enbiggen.

In case you cannot read it, it says "Ashtray.  A smokin' great deal."  Which, in my opinion, is just weird.  This is obviously an ashtray.  Were the manufacturers tired of answering calls asking what their product is for?  And if your product needs to have a label explaining what it is, adding a marketing tag line seems less than productive.  Maybe Ford needs to make the all new "2021 Car: Gets you from here to there".

Call Now! Operators Standing By!

Today's post comes from regular contributor, Shu.  Click the picture if you wish to enbiggen

He writes:
"Thank you for calling. What part of 'No current space available' did you not understand?"

Chinese Penis Trap?

We received a shipment at work and I noticed this icon on the box.  Click to enbiggen.

Now I'm certain that is supposed to indicate that two people should lift the box.  But that's really not what is looks like.  What it looks like to me is that Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg have decided to do a sequel to "Dick in a Box".

Update:  I showed this to my coworker, Allute, and he told me that this post should have been named "Dock In A Box".  And he is 100% correct.