Making a Bespectacle of Oneself

This here Basket O’ Glasses is at one of our local Greek pizza restaurants. You can’t tell from the picture, but there is close to a dozen pair of glasses in that basket. Do they really have that many sight-impaired patrons who forget their glasses? Do they have ANY patrons who actually use those glasses? I thought about seeing how many pairs I could put on before management asked me to leave, but even I was a bit weirded out by the idea of communal spectacles.

Elevator Emergency Procedures

This sign is in the very building in which I work. It includes several amusing items and one frightening one. First, notice the extra hole in the upper left and the fact that the “center” hole is offset allowing the sign to hang at a jaunty angle. It includes the obligatory typo (“inset” fingers), confusing directions (pull elevator doors outward?), pronoun mismatch ("doors" and "it") and a phrase in all caps with an exclamation point ("DON'T PANIC!" ala Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy). It also promises that in the event of a loss of power, the elevator will “drop down to the bottom floor.” I don’t know about you, but the last thing I want my elevator to do is DROP. Lower, maybe. Descend, certainly. But NEVER, in any circumstance, drop.

P.S. Yes that is a tap light, adhered with double-sided tape. Classy!

We Aim to Confuse

So, I have to make my standard disclaimer: my phone camera takes terrible pictures. I was recently at one of the local urgent care facilities when I found this. We've all seen this particular witticism in restrooms before, but on a mirror? In a hospital? Even that absurdity would not have been enough to make it a What The Foto. In the lower right corner, inside the circle, it reads 'Also a 3 1/2" x 5" Photo Frame.' What in the hell does that even mean?

Always Weird. Always

So, I’m not sure if this is sanctioned or not. What it appears to be is a drawing for a display layout (click to enbiggen for full effect). The drawing is taped to a huge pallet of Ramen Noodles. Apparently said noodles will sell better if they are arranged to form a ranch-style house, complete with garage and chimney. Because nothing screams chicken-flavored Ramen like suburbia.

He Was a Carpenter After All

We pass this roofing company when we go down to the river. As you can see, one of the buildings seems to yelling the name of the Christian Messiah. Since there is no additional information, I’m not sure if it is supposed to be an advertisement, an expletive, or simply a reminder. Whatever the case, I’m always compelled to shout “JESUS!” each time I see it.