Psssst! Hams!

I recently found some photos I took a number of years ago which just beg to be posted, so I will present a mini-series in three parts.

We saw this beauty in Oklahoma when we were on the way to Texas once. To me, this does not look like an advertisement so much as someone is trying to "out" the hams. Are the hams for sale? Is this some sort of Ham Museum? Is this just intended as a FYI for anyone who might be wondering "Hmmm, I wonder what is in that building"? Luckily they have to wonder no longer!

I particularly like that fact that it looks like it was written by a 10 year old. And what is up with the fact that only the letter 'i' is in lowercase? Maybe it is some sort of code that I have yet to crack. Because THAT level of intelligence seems likely...

My Sister’s Nightmare

This picture of a local "fashion shop" (click to enbiggen) is another one courtesy of got.river.

Okay, there a LOT of stuff going on here. First, what in the holy hell is going on with that creepy clown? I understand that the owner is trying to keep with the theme of the shop (see the weird dog bone shaped sign in the clown's crotch), but do they have to give us the heebie-jeebies while doing it? Secondly, there is nothing more natural than a clown sitting on a pig; happens every day in this area of the country. Apparently. And how about that trombone, to the right of nightmare clown? I sure hope that whoever buys it has their tetanus shots up to date. Luckily the stuff in the foreground is so captivating or I would have to mention the fashion atrocities in the upper left corner…

Tastes Like a Dead Snake Smells

I try to keep this blog work friendly but... Holy Shit! Ladies and gentlemen, I hate to say this, but that is a picture of a bottle of alcohol with a F*KING SNAKE IN IT! And when I say alcohol, I don't mean isopropyl, it's vodka (I think). A&W's friend Mad Dawg brought this and several others like it back from Vietnam. Apparently this is similar to tequila but instead of a worm, there's a gigantic cobra in it. And people drink it. Mad Dawg stated that if anyone opened the bottle, they would be required to drink the entire thing. I am to understand that it would be unpleasant (see post title).

As an added bonus, the container it is in is a war-era blood transfusion bottle. How morbidly appropriate.

The Fine Art of Subtlety

In the final installment of my billboard miniseries, I’d like to share with you what happens when a company fully embraces the true purpose of advertisement. No tiptoeing around the subject, no beating around the bush, just "Hire our limo and get laid!" With as absurd as this billboard is, I do have to begrudgingly give a little respect to the company. They know what works.

Body Piercing

In part two of my billboard miniseries, I present this beauty (click to enbiggen). I really don’t know what to say about this. And it’s provided by a church. A Christian church. Those people are supposed to like Jesus, not mock Him. In any case, it sure is weird. And I really don’t feel the passage they refer to is particularly appropriate. If you’d like to read the passages they are "quoting" (Colossians 2:13-14) click here. I must warn you, it does use the word 'uncircumcision'.

Beloved? Really?

I see this billboard every morning on the way to work and it just makes me wonder what era Mr. Westhoff thinks he is living in. Seriously, who uses the word "beloved" any more? And if they did use it, who would actually apply it to an insurance agent? Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against insurance agents (I know and like a number of people in the insurance industry), but I would not say that they are "dearly loved : dear to the heart". That wording just seems to be a bit on the strong side.