Stephen King Was On To Something...

This sign was recently put up at a cemetery that I pass every day. Click the picture to enbiggen. Does anyone else find this a creepy as I do? Yes, I get the whole afterlife connotation, but that isn't what it is actually stating. It is claiming to have "Pet Cemetery" like properties. I don't know about you, but the last thing I want in a cemetery is resurrection. I guess this is how the zombie apocalypse will begin.

Jesus Croaker

Here is another contribution from Shu.

Perhaps this sign is the restaurant's way of wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and advertising a fish dinner special. Or maybe they're six months early or six months late in sending birthday wishes to a 15 1/2 year-old named Jesus Croaker.

Kids These Days Will Eat Anything

Here what I consider an example of a classic What The Foto. I was in a gift/jewelry/candle/gourmet food shop the other day when I found these. This is a stamp for sealing envelopes with wax. The first thing I noticed is that these items have a net weight (click the picture to enbiggen) because clearly this is the type of thing that is sold by the pound.

So, on to the back...

This is one of the more frightening warnings I have read. Keep away from water AND fire. Keep away from children and pets. Do not ingest?!?! THIS IS NOT A TOY. NON-EDIBLE! How many people have been killed by these things? I guess that it is possible that the stamp could be eaten by a child (it's about the size as a nickel) but that handle is almost six inches long. Someone would have to be pretty determined to get that into their esophagus.

Holiday Guilt Trip

Our newest field reporter, Poppa G, found this and sent it my way. You are welcome to click the images if you wish to enbiggen them.

This is the front of a postcard he received. Fine, nothing too odd about it other than Nancy is kind of all over the place with her wish list. Then you flip the postcard over...

REALLY?!??! Don't disappoint your children?!? In case you can't tell, this of those "sure we'll give you money, but it will cost you" places. Way to take advantage of parents who already are having a difficult time. Because it doesn't matter if you if can afford it or not, you gotta buy $#!+ this time of year. And thus, the prostitution of Christmas is complete.

P.S. I almost didn't redact the name of the company who mailed this out as they truly deserve as much ridicule as can be sent their way.

There's An App For That

Really? An iPhone app for hot sauce? Technically it's an app for finding hot wing restaurants, not for finding Frank's hot sauce but I don't know if that makes it better or worse. I'm pretty sure that Goggle Maps can handle that type of request quite nicely. I think it's time to get a grip on this whole app-for-everything-under-the-sun approach. Speaking of getting a grip, where is my app to find a high quality adult store?

Portable Towel Rack

Yet another entry from Bat... Click the picture to enbiggen.
As if the random assortment of self stick reflectors wasn't enough to trick out this Pontiac Grand Prix. No, no, nonononono… what this ride really needs is a gold towel bar mounted on the trunk spoiler! How many times have you been showering in the garage and you just can’t find anyplace to hang your damn towel??!! I know, right? Problem solved.

Now, where to mount the toilet paper bar cuz I’ma have to $#!+ as soon as I get home… hmmmmmmm

Do ROTC Students Eat Free?

This is what happens when you aren't clear on your signage: you end up on What The Foto. We found this when we stopped at a restaurant on the way down to our last float trip. I'm sure the student and military receive separate discounts. However, what this literally says is that students receive an additional 10% off whatever the military discount is. So since ROTC students are both, do they continue to keep applying one discount on top of the other until their bill is zero?

Close To The Hospital!

Shu sent this my way...

A point of reference is always helpful. And being in close proximity to medical facilities is never a bad thing. But this restaurant's marketing department might want to come up with a new slogan, especially if they want to be known for their wings and not be perceived as a restaurant where medical attention is necessary after eating.