When Irony Just Can't Wait

I saw this machine in a gas station Men's room while on road trip recently.  Click the picture to enbiggen.  Now, I know that these machines have been a staple in restrooms for a long time.  The reason it is on this website is the tag line that Protocol chose to use: "When Life Just Can't Wait..." Please correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that the entire point of using condoms?  To make life wait??  And bonus points are awarded to the fact that the third product is not actually a prophylactic but, instead, maximum strength "Horny Goat Weed".

Cover Your Butt, Put Out Your Butt and Don't Shoot Anyone In The Butt

Field correspondent Shu has graced us with another submission.

This is signage at the entrance to a gun shop in rural North Carolina. In a place of business where management needs to tell customers to pull their pants up and not to shoot guns inside, you would think that someone lighting up a cigarette would be the least of their worries. Second Amendment is alive and well here, provided you put your pants on and your cigarette out before entering.

Editors Note:  You know, bullets and cigarettes are equally deadly, it's just a matter of the timeline.  And what in the hell does "Show me some of that country money" mean?

NEWSFLASH: Massaging Gums Increases IQ

Field correspondent Bolo sent this my way.

 

This week I was on a Science Camp trip as a chaperone and was amazed at what I learned from these kids. These kids are in an honors biology class and are some of the most intelligent kids in the school. I have often wondered why the Asian students always perform so well at academics. I have thought it might be genetics, or a result of a fish heavy diet as it has always been known that fish is brain food.

 

Imagine my surprise when I walked into the bathhouse and found that one of the Asian students had brought this from home. I would never have thought this was the secret! 

CAUTION!

I saw this in the parking lot of a large electronics retailer the other day.  Please feel free to click the picture for enbiggened goodness.  While I am certain a random concrete block in a parking lot is a hazard, one has to wonder how much more time it took to wrap the caution tape around it than to simply move it to another location.  I guess they have at least limited their liability exposure...

12-Year-Old Boys Shouldn't Work Retail

This isn't exactly timely but I saw this a couple months back (duh..).  Click the pic to enbiggen.

I really don't know which is worse, the fact that this sign was actually printed and posted or how much I giggled when I saw it.  I guess that proves one thing: some of us will never fall victim of maturity.

The Ehhh...Team

 

Rugbylicious (formally "W") captured this picture and sent it my way.  Click the image to enbiggen.

 



"In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as independent contractors... If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Ehhh...Team."

Editors Note:  I wonder if there is a large, extremely angry white guy in there who wears lots of jewelry and is afraid of flying.  I certainly hope so.

When You Can't Even Convince The Cartoon Mascot...

I hate it when life makes you do things and stuff.  Anyway, hopefully I'll be back for a while.

 

This is a sign I saw recently when I had lunch at a international Scottish restaurant chain. I believe they are trying to encourage kids to eat more healthily, like drinking milk instead of soda.  However that's not what's happening in this scene.  The child is giving his milk to a goat.  This is exactly what happens in every household that serves liver: it gets slipped under the table to whatever pet is hiding under there.  So this doesn't really encourage children to make better diet choices as it shows them how to avoid eating them.  Ahh, America.

No Technology Here...

This post has the potential for starting a flame war but here goes.  Frankie and I went to Cedar Point amusement park a couple of weekends ago and, while waiting in line for Top Thrill Dragster, we were presented with this sight (click the picture to enbiggen).  Now maybe I'm just missing out on something here but the sight of individuals dressed in such garb waiting in lines for a roller coaster just seemed incongruous.  But I could be wrong.

Charlie Brown's O Face

I saw this during a recent trip to a local grocery store.  I think they are there to promote the caramel apples, since that's what Snoopy's sign says (click the picture to enbiggen).  What they actually do is creep people the hell out.  Every single person who walked by while I was there said some variation of "Oh, my!"  I really don't know which is worse: Charlie Brown's zero-shaped head or the fact that it looks like Snoopy had some terrible eye accident.

A Generation Of Scarecrows

Our newest field correspondent, Agent Superstar!, took this and sent it to me.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

 

It's a sad state of affairs when schools have to resort to donated clothing for funding. I do, however, find the word "Kiducation™" very catchy and it just rolls off the tongue.  What really bothers me is the phrase "We turn used clothing into new kids..."  That just has a disturbing sound to it.  As Agent Superstar! stated "they have mad powers of transfiguration".