Excuse Me, Stewardess? I'd Like To Move.

Today's post is courtesy of our newest field correspondent, The Sheriff.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

On our recent vacation to Honduras, he was seated in an exit row of the airplane.  As he was dutifully reading the airplane safety card, he noticed one requirement that was, let's say, different from the rest.  Let's look at that third-from-last bullet: "sufficient...oral capacity".  Hmm, I've flown a fair amount and don't recall that ever being mentioned.  And I would think that would severely delay the deplaning process.  But I guess they do things differently in Central America.

Jesus Had Better Behave Himself

I apologize for the hiatus but I've had a lot going on lately.  I went on a tropical vacation, quit one job and started a new one.  Hopefully I'll get back on track.

Frankie and I took a trip last year during which we visited a botanical garden.  We saw this sign while there.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

"Stay OFF the Pools".  Off, it says.  If that word wasn't in all caps I might just let it slide.  But it says "off" and not "out of".  I assume the author of this sign is wanting visitors to not climb on the stone walls.  But that would have been easy to say: "Stay off walls".  Maybe it does mean to keep out of the water but that "OFF" really is pretty emphatic about what it wants.  So I am left with understanding that they to not want visitors to treat their pools like the Sea of Galilee.

How To Class Up A Place

Today's post comes from a correspondent from whom we haven't heard in a while.  It's Griz!  Clicken to enbiggen.

Nothing says you have an eye for art like buying a picture of Old Wine.  Old Wine is one of my favorite brands/styles/varietals. In fact, Frankie and I went out for dinner last night and we enjoyed a bottle of Old Wine with it.  So as Griz says, "class up the joint with some paintings of, you know, Old Wine and stuff..."

8 Simple Rules To Use My Bathroom

Back-to-back posts by Shu.  Click the pics to enbiggen.

This occurred at a Marathon in Melbourne, Fla. Before the manager would give me a key to the outdoor restroom, he lectured me about reading and following all of the rules posted in the restroom. After I assured him I would adhere, he paid me the nicest compliment I've ever received:
"I'm not worried about you. I can tell by your face, you know how to use the bathroom."
I admit I felt weird flashing the comot, but rules are rules.

Just Add WOW!

Field correspondent Shu provides today's post.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Normally, 20 cents off wouldn't be that impressive. But when the sign says "WOW!", well 20 cents off? WOW!

Skewed Data? What's That?

I saw this while having lunch at a worldwide fast food chain. Click the picture to enbiggen.

This is a case study on how to ensure you will not get a representative response.  Obviously they only want to hear good things but this is pretty egregious.   The huge "Want a Free Sandwich?".  Having the words "highly satisfied" in a different color.  Repeating "free sandwich". And, my person favorite, having "if you're not satisfied" in much smaller text and telling you to call and not to put that in the survey.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you statistics.

More Cold? Less Cold?

The week before Christmas it got cold here.  I snapped this picture of the Weather Channel widget I have on my computer.

Yes, it is claiming that the temperature is negative zero degrees Fahrenheit.  Is colder than regular zero?

If You Have To Ask, You Probably Are

Today we have another post from the ever-prolific Shu.

I wonder if they do this like play reviews in football. Announcer: "The referee is checking to see if the receiver has one foot or both feet in the grave. Here's the ruling." Referee: "Upon further review, the receiver maintained possession and had both feet in the grave. The official ruling...you are gone!" Announcer: "Tough break. On the bright side, he won't be charged with a time out."

Redefining Several Words

I got myself a fancy new glass screen protector for my phone.  Here is the package. Click the picture to enbiggen.

There are a lot of features listed here:
 - Toughened GLASS
 - 9 H (hardness?)
 - Oleophobic coating
 - Anti-Scratching/Anti-Shattering
 - Explosion proof!!!

Hold on a second.  What's that say in the lower left?  "Please handle with care. FRAGILE"??? What the f.........

Breaking News From Captain Obvious

Field correspondent, Millersburger, snapped this excellent picture and sent it my way.

Our other top headlines for this hour:
 - Water is wet
 - The Pope is Catholic
 - Bears frequently defecate in forested areas