Blasphemy At Its Best

Brilliant.  Just brilliant.  The best part, in my opinion, is the fact that they call their technicians "Repair Apostles".  I wonder if they have 12 of them...

Emergency Amputation

It's been a while since we've had a submission from field correspondent Bat but he sure gave us a good one.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

 

He says: "And then your hands will be chopped off and you will bleed to death..."

Obviously the dotted red line is supposed to indicate where the handles will end up in the case you have to use the emergency exit but it sure looks like your hands will be spewing blood if lift those handles.  Maybe that's to indicate what the emergency has to be to use this exit: "If your hands are spraying blood, please feel free to exit here."

For Adult Water Sports Use Only

Field correspondent A.S. sent this my way.

 

While I'm not among them, there are some who enjoy adult water sports.  I had no idea that they made equipment just for that.  And tinted so your partner can't see where you're looking.  I do have one suggestion, if you do use these for adult water sports, leave the protective film on.

They Go Right Through You

I know this looks like a set up but I swear it isn't.  I really don't have anything to add.

Indoor Traveling Is The Best

I saw this display at a convenience store.  Because when I think footwear, I think convenience stores.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

 

So what we have here is a product that states it is "Indoor Footwear" which is fine.  I do love me a good slipper.  The trouble, however, comes in with the byline: "for gym, home, travel, office, anywhere for feet go..."  That seems like a bit of a contradiction to me.  I'm pretty sure that any traveling is going to require at least some exposure to the outdoors.  Or maybe that's just my approach to it.

Junk Dryer

Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq. informed me of this when we stopped at a gas station on a recent float trip.  Feel free to click the picture to enbiggen. 



For the readers who are blessed enough to have two X chromosomes, it may not be immediately obvious why this is a What The Foto.  I will simply say that the placement of the hand dryer is unusual.  I guess it can save time in that one can wash and dry one's hand at the same time one is urinating.

Folding Is NOT Bending

Our newest field correspondent, Linda from LoCo, sent this to me.  Please click on the picture to enbiggen.

 

Merriam-Webster defines bend as "to curve out of a straight line or position" whereas to fold is "to lay one part over another part of ".  These are completely different concepts.  So while it is fine to fold this map and create sharp creases it is definitely not okay to put a gentle curve in it.  A curved map would do no one any good.  Class dismissed.

And A Fight

I was watching a movie the other day (I cannot remember what it was) when I read this MPAA rating.  Please click on the picture to enbiggen.



I didn't realize that movie ratings had gotten so specific.  Mature thematic material, references to sexual content (whatever that means) and a fight.  All involving teens no less.  And if anyone ever read these warnings they might make a difference.  Do think any parent read this and said "This movie has a fight involving teens?  Well, we're not watching it."  Isn't that what teens do 90% of the time?

It's Probably Just Me...

But I'm not sure I would have named anything a "Hot Steamer".  I'm sure it's a fine beverage it just sounds wrong somehow.  That is all.

Editor's note:  Reader S&M made such a perfect comment that I had to promote it here:
"That's very nice of them to let you choose flavor and whip. I'll take cherry and the cat o nine tails."

3 Year Olds Love The Piano

On my recent road trip I visited the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago.  One of the exhibits included an interactive display of what people's goals are at various stages of life.  The exhibit lost a smidgen of credibility when it displayed this (click the picture to enbiggen):

 

I wonder how big their sample size of three year olds was.  This whole screen was supposed to be related to children three years of age.  Seriously?  Learn to play the piano? Learn to play the violin?  VOLUNTEER???  I think the goals of most kids under the age of five revolve around acquiring cookies and eating paste.