Strawberry Or Cherry?

When I was checking in to the hotel on a recent trip, I saw this.  Click to enbiggen.

Do you see it?  Under the toiletries heading?  Let me zoom in on that for you:

Someone mistook "twizzer" (which isn't a word) for tweezers.  And it's been on display since.  All for me.

Elegant and Free

I was browsing for a new watch face when I found this option.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Now, I'm no expert but I never would have thought that could be elegant and certainly not free.

TripAdvisor 5-Stars

Sorry that it's been a while.  You know, life.

In any case, today's post comes from the ever brilliant Outlaw.

He writes:

Morgan, I've got a few questions about your "motel"... 

- So... where do you check in? For that matter, I'm curious to know if I'll be allowed to check out.

- Is this one of those motels where each room has a specific theme? Mechanic, auto garage or 80's horror movie perhaps? 

- What's with the windows? Perhaps it's just the angle, but each one looks like a different size.

- This building sits, literally, ten feet from the road... what about parking? Silly me, just pull into your personal garage space. 

- is the "shower" more like a car wash bay, or do you just have to stand under the pipe sticking out the side of the building where it says "shower" and let the rest of small town Hooterville see you as nature intended?

- Does this place have wifi, or at least AM radio?

- Will complimentary breakfast be served on a hubcap, or in a basket with a bottle of lotion?

I'm not entirely impressed with Morgan's Motel. I mean, at least Motel 6 has a slogan stating that they'll keep the light on for ya. Morgan's doesn't even have a light. At least invest in a neon that says "Die Here" or something. You're not selling me. You may want to go with a more multifaceted approach like "Morgan's Outdoor Shower, Tire Salon and Dungeon". Hard pass from me, sir.

Not Creepy If You Don't Think About It Too Much

BeerGirl and I went on a trip last month and the hotel generously offered these waters for the modest cost of $5.00.  That's not the reason this is here.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Right next to that $5.00 is the line "A charge will be added to you account upon consumption".  UPON CONSUMPTION.  How do they know?  Cameras?  Fluid sensing bottle?  Spy ghosts?  However it is determined, as soon as you finish that bottle of water, BAM, $5.00 added to you bill.

Then It Must Be A Jar!

I saw this a couple weeks ago in one of the parking garages.

Now, I'm no architect nor carpenter but this here portal has hinges, a handle and even a closer so it's a good thing this is labeled as I would have been sure it is a door.

Key & Peele Approved Soda

Our newest field corespondent, Allute, saw this while dining out recently and sent it my way.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Mayhap their waiter was Australian:
"What can I get everyone to drink?  You want a Diet Pepsi?  NOICE!  And you also want a Diet Pepsi?  NOICE!  And for you?  A Diet Pepsi, as well?  NOICE!  Last but not least?  A fourth Diet Pepsi??  NOICE!!!

Good Luck Sleeping Tonight

I saw these things in the basement of a dental client at my previous job.  Click to enbiggen (if you dare).

What we have here, my friends, are a stuffed monkey and donkey both sporting human teeth.  I assume that the intent was to show kids how to properly brush their teeth but these existential nightmares most likely simply scarred the children for life.  And thus they are in the basement, plotting their revenge.

Too Much Of A Good Thing?

Field correspondent, JG, snapped this pic and sent it to me.  No need to enbiggen this one.

He says:
I like bacon just as much as the next guy but I didn’t know this was a thing. Do you just eat it straight or does it come with sides?

In my opinion, bacon stands alone and needs no accompaniments.  Except maybe a defibrillator.

Clip Proximity Ban

I saw this at a client's office when I was at my previous job.

I think what they are getting at with this sign is that they do not want paperclips going through the document feeder of the copy machine.  Or maybe that isn't actually a copy machine but actually an MRI and they don't want paperclips flying around.  Or maybe they're just idiots.

How Do You Know It’s Time To Go To The Bathroom? The Clock Says It’s Poo-thirty.

Another excellent submission from Lord Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq.  Please clicken to enbiggen.

He writes:
I'm in a government building in Jefferson City when I spotted this gem.  I think I understand what they are trying to convey.  I think they are suggesting that some wall-hating snowflakes may be sensitive to your perfume so now nobody can smell nice at the office.  But the placement of this in the bathroom (both on the mirror, and on the door on the way out), gave the appearance that they wanted me to use some sort of trap-a-crap or poo-pourri if I were to bless the building with the bounty of my bowels.  As much as I wanted to make a stink statement in protest, my breakfast burrito was not yet locked 'n loaded, and the premises were not friendly.  So you get this pic instead - enjoy.