Maybe a Bad Idea

This scene comes courtesy of a local “tearoom and bistro” (whatever the hell that means). The observant will have already noticed why this picture is here. For those who are a bit on the slow side, allow me to elucidate. Note that there is a computer just to the right of the monitor cleverly hidden behind the “Open Mic Night” sign. Also note the orientation of this computer. It took every ounce of my will power to resist pressing that power button. Or popping a porn-filled CD into the drive (not that I carry one with me at all times. Yet.) Obviously the solution isn’t simply turning it around as all those cords would also present an irresistible temptation. There’s a reason these things are usually located in a secure location. That reason is usually me.

Additional Services Not Included

So, Momo received this mysterious gift certificate in the mail the other day. She is a patient of this dentist, however she did not recognize the name of the person who she (apparently) referred. While that is a bit strange, it in no way holds a candle to the bizarre disclaimer at the bottom. It starts out all normally enough "whitening is not a specialty which requires blah, blah, blah…" But then (and you have to click to enbiggen this one), the "doctors are not specialists in prosthodontics, orthohontics, TAXIDERMY, or PILOTING DIRIGIL". First, the entire Interweb has never heard of the word “dirigil”, at least not in English. Secondly, and much more importantly, what in the hell is going on at that practice which requires them to say they do not perform taxidermy?!? You know there was some event that led to that particular disclaimer. That’s the kind of story one just has to hear.

Cajun Style!

I know how to be seated “Family Style” or even “Indian Style” but “Cajun Style” eludes me. Am I supposed to play the washboard before being seated? Flash my tasty tatas? (you can clearly see in the reflection that my tatas are anything buy “tasty”) Buy a sump pump? (too soon?) It is unfair to make such a request without further clarification. That’s how wars get started…

Sexy New Girls Friend

I was out and about at lunch when I happened across this. It’ a little difficult to read (click for enbiggened goodness), but it says “Sexy” (on the side window) and “New Girls Friend” (on the rear). As usual, I have absolutely no insight as to what this supposed to mean. Mayhap it is a misquote from the movie Sixteen Candles: Long Duk Dong “Ooh. Sexy Girlfriend.” Or maybe it’s just another one of those things intended to assist my steady descent into insanity.

Polling Place Crime Scene

This is a picture of where I cast my ballot yesterday. The signs read "No Campaigning Within 25 Feet.” The yellow tape reads “No Campaigning Zone.” While I understand the need to limit campaigning at polling locations, is it necessary to make it look like a crime scene? Note that the tape is attached to the door handles. I was a little afraid I might find dead bodies inside. In reality, while they were very old, they were not quite dead.

Keep Her Happy!

This ad campaign is by one of the (many) mobile home retailers in my area (click to enbiggen). This picture is beautiful for several of reasons:
1. They obviously embrace stereotypes; what with the hair curlers, robe and pointing finger (should have snuck a cigarette in there)
2. The mobile home is up on blocks and looks precariously close to falling to the left
3. The use “doubles” instead of “double-wide” to make it seem more classy
4. They are implying that a double-wide mobile home is the key to wedded bliss