2 Out of 10

For you regular readers, I apologize for the inconsistent posts recently. I've had some upheaval in my life but I will try to get back to my twice-a-week habit. On to the funny.

Today's entry comes from Bat.

I guess these must be the two kids whose parents don't make them do their homework. Or perhaps they are taking this course from the University of Houston and ARE doing their homework.

Absolute Security

Today's post comes from Cookie.
She writes: This drawer is at the main desk in the unit where I work.....I would leave my valuables here, wouldn't you????

I like the fact that not only do they have shoddy furniture, they advertise it with handwritten signs. So, on to the questions. How many times does the lock have to be broken before they put a sign on it? Why lock it at all at this point? Have you ever seen a drawer lock that breaks simply by trying to open the drawer? Do they seriously "repair" (not replace) the lock ever time it gets broken? This kind of thing is exactly why I started this blog. Thanks, Cookie!!!

New Age B.S.

Now I'm sure that I risk offending someone with this post, but that is a risk I am willing to take. So I saw this ad in a magazine and I just couldn't get my mind around it (click to enbiggen). "Brought to you in a spiritual way with honesty and integrity nurturing our friends and family"?????? Seriously? What in the hell does that mean? I am certain that I don't want my spaghetti sauce giving me a spiritual experience and the only honesty that I expect is on the ingredients list. I also like the uncredited quote about organic farmers saving us all. I've done enough research to know that labeling something "organic" really doesn't mean much at all. So that claim doesn't hold much water either.

I shall end my rant now.

Methinks That He's Not Fooling Anyone

Another great catch from W of A&W. He actually saw this in passing and then spent his lunch tracking it down for the pictures. Now that is dedication (other field correspondents take note: the bar has been set).

These are f-ing fantastic! Click and click to enbiggen. Exactly when did Ferrari start manufacturing Geo Metro convertibles? Things I noted on my first quick glance: the AAA sticker on the bumper, the Netherlands oval bumper sticker, the front hubcap with several chunks missing from it, the gigantic digital clock stuck on the dashboard at a jaunty angle and the tiny additional mirror on the driver’s side mirror. Oh yes, and the chrome Ferrari shield on the trunk and the gold shield in front of the door. Apparently there's a lot more to it, but our intrepid cameraman only got a couple of shots before a curious neighbor came around.

Ride 'Em, Potatogirl

Another submission from field reporter TMDA.
Okay, I can accept that these potato chips are called Spudmaster. I accept that they are "ColossalChips". I can even accept that they are "the chip like no other". But what in the hell is going on with the logo of a potato dressed as a cowgirl? That is just a bit too non sequitur for me. Maybe if they were called PrarieChips or RanchTaters, or even SpudPokes I would understand. Makes me think that someone in the marketing department has a rather odd fetish.

News in Briefs (Get It? BRIEFS?)

Yet another by the great Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq.
I'm really not sure where to go with this one. There is the "if they didn't put that slit in the front of the underwear it wouldn't get out - and why are the authorities concerned about this." Or you could go with the "seems like they are really cracking down on greenhouse gasses if they are policing this now." Or along those same lines "I guess they must have passed the new Cap and Trade Bill - not sure how that provision got added though - good thing I was wearing carbon scrubbers." I think I prefer the "it must have been that editor's last day before retirement." I mean really - doesn't someone read the paper before it is printed. Vote for your favorite or add your own.

Don't Make Me Take Off My Belt

Sausages in a can are disgusting. Damp little tubes of meat packed in meat-flavored jelly. I do have a confession to make: I will partake of a vienna sausage on occasion (that does not in any way make them less gross). These dandies, however, rise to the top of the disturbing meat list. Let's start with the obvious (click to enbiggen). Why does the kid's expression look like he just shart his pants? And how about those sausages? It isn't even a photo, it's a drawing. Even the manufacturer couldn't make their product photogenic enough to put on the label. But the worst thing of all are the ingredients. Someone else on the interwebs was kind enough to scan the label. Click here to see it but I warn you, it includes the words "skins", "spleens" and "stomachs".