Smoken!

Here is another example of a sign that takes much more interpretation than it should (click the picture to enbiggen).  I assume this is the owner's way of asking patrons not to put out a cigarette and then take it into the store with them.  I do have to wonder why these signs aren't created on a computer and printed.  The advantage of that is twofold: first, one wouldn't have to worry about illegible handwriting and, second, words like "smoken" would probably not be included.

Somewhere, A Sleeper Agent Has Been Activated

Does anyone want to take a stab at this one?  Anyone?  I kind of get the first two lines: fishing is fun, but flat tires are not fun. Pretty bizarre parallelism, but I guess I can make that leap.  It's that last part that really confuses me: "trailer tires ok".  This makes no sense either in the "context" of the sign or on its own.  Signs such as these are supposed to entice people to shop there, not cause them to wreck while trying to decipher the message.

Please Select The Definition You Are Most Comfortable With

Field correspondent Griff snapped this picture and sent it to me.

Oh sure, the phrase "Glory Hole" is used number of different ways.  The Discover Channel show Gold Rush Alaska uses it to describe a depression at the base of a waterfall where gold gathers.  In the world of offshore petroleum wells, it means escavating the seafloor to protect the wellhead from icebergs. It is even the name of the reheating furnace for glassblowing.  But we all know what it really means, don't we...

Me Sellum Sodas

Field correspondent Frankie submits another.

Umm..  I'm really not sure what to even say about this other than "What in the hell is wrong with people?"  Click the picture to enbiggen the creepiness. 

UPDATE:  Correspondent Shu noted "What's interesting is only the cowboy has a Please Don't Touch sign on him. Go wild with the Native American, I guess."

Warpped Pineapple

Seen at a local Chinese Buffet restaurant.  Everyone understands the power of pork in general and especially bacon, but I never knew it had the ability to send tropical fruit faster than the speed of light.  Or maybe it has given the fruit a perverse sense of humor.  In either case, I shall endeavor to keep a close eye on my pineapple whenever it is in the presence of bacon from now on.

Finally, The Pluralization Of A New Orleans' Colloquialism

I was riding with Frankie we saw this.  It's not the clearest picture, but click on it to enbiggen and focus your attention to the brand badge next to the left tail light. It reads: HYUUDAI, which I can only assume that is pronounced "Who Dey".  In most cases, this would be slightly more grammatically correct than the traditional "Who Dat" as that idiom is typically directed at a group rather than an individual. And that is your Creole lesson for the day.

Details, Details

So now, employees not only have to wash their hands after using the restroom, they also have to use soap?  Talk about micro-management. Will the proletariat never cease to be suppressed?