"Time Is An Illusion" - Albert Einstein

Our newest field correspondent, Papa J, send this to me.  As he said "3 'identical' boxes of cheap Totino's pizzas I was recently preparing."  Click the picture to enbiggen.

 

Soooo, anywhere from 11 - 16 minutes.  That's a mere 45% variance in time.  All at 450°.  Nothing could possibly go wrong with that.  And I love the fact that all three have different times.  Maybe what happened is that the box maker messed up.  Of course sometimes the box can be confused for a Totino's pizza...

Speaking Of Awkwardly Worded Signs...

 

At my recent convention, lunch was provided by the venue.  On each of the tables was the above table tent.   As in my previous post, I shall attempt to translate this for you:  coffee and creamer are available if you ask for it.  Seriously, nobody has ever called creamer a “Non-Dairy Condiment”.  Luckily the sucralose (C12H22O11) and a variety of high-intensity artificial sweeteners (including saccharin, aspartame, and sucralose) are provided on the table in a rectangle ceramic ramekin.

There Is No Easy Way To Say This

As I mentioned in a previous post, I have been doing a LOT of traveling lately and it always provides such a bounty of WTFotos.  Click on the picture to enbiggen.

 

I'm going to do my best at a translation:  if the remote doesn't turn the TV on, press the power button on the TV.  I think that sums it up pretty well.  It really doesn't need a 40 word paragraph (which includes an exclamation mark, a split infinitive, and a dependent adverbial clause) in order to say that.  And what in the hell does "if there isn't a reflection by... remote" supposed to mean?  I almost never expect my remote to reflect my TV.  I'm going out on a limb here and say that this was written by someone for whom English is a second language.

No Alcohol For Fetuses

I visited a local bar-type establishment a couple weeks ago (Yes, it did happen to be on the second of June, why do you ask?) and I was presented with this scene.  Apparently, as long as you are born on today or before, you can be served alcohol.  But they definitely draw the line at inter-utero cocktails.

Beware!!! Humor Attempts Sometimes Fail.

I have to assume that this wonderful sticky note of advertising is referring to the Redd's Apple Ale commercial campaign where someone is wondering what to order to drink and an apple comes flying and hits them in the head, knocking them to the ground.  I found those commercials a bit odd anyway, but I'm not in advertising.  Anyway, if one is not aware of these commercials, this comes across less of a joke and more of a threat.  Which, in my opinion, is the best way to acquire and retain customers.

Pooper Man!

I've been doing quite a bit of traveling as of late, so that shall be a running theme for the near future.  Let's begin, shall we.  Please click the picture if you wish to enbiggen.

 

Is the stall out of paper?  We'll get you a new roll faster than a speeding bullet! 

This is just wrong and degrading on so many levels.  I guess the economy is hitting everyone pretty hard.  Even superheroes have to get a part-time job.  Hopefully his luck will turn around if his little film project works out.