What's In a Name?

I spied (with my little eye) these products at a well-known national pharmacy chain. I'm sure they are just fine products, but there is something not right about that name. Bag O' Baby. What immediately springs to mind is the image of a sack full of infants, perhaps carried by a deranged stork. Instead of delivering the newborns to their rightful parents, this particular stork distributes them willy-nilly. One goes to a hobo sleeping on a park bench. Another to a rabid badger. A third to an unsuspecting Lindsay Lohan. While no harm comes to these children, their unusual upbringing leads to lives of reckless abandon and, ultimately, to them becoming regulars on Jerry Springer.

Or maybe I'm the only one with such visions...

The Tina Turner of Topiary

Sorry for the hiatus, I’ve been traveling and just busy in general. On the bright side, I have several new photos that I’ll be posting in the near future. For now, I present these:

Eagled-eyed Momo saw this and knew it must be shared here. I’m pretty sure that is supposed to be a lion topiary, but the only things that are growing are a couple of fern mange spots and the gigantic grass mane. Well, I think it is suppose to be a mane. To me it resembles nothing more than Tina Turner’s hair circa 1985. If you doubt me, please visit the following link…
http://www.people.com/people/gallery/0,,20176282_13,00.html

Making a Bespectacle of Oneself

This here Basket O’ Glasses is at one of our local Greek pizza restaurants. You can’t tell from the picture, but there is close to a dozen pair of glasses in that basket. Do they really have that many sight-impaired patrons who forget their glasses? Do they have ANY patrons who actually use those glasses? I thought about seeing how many pairs I could put on before management asked me to leave, but even I was a bit weirded out by the idea of communal spectacles.

Elevator Emergency Procedures

This sign is in the very building in which I work. It includes several amusing items and one frightening one. First, notice the extra hole in the upper left and the fact that the “center” hole is offset allowing the sign to hang at a jaunty angle. It includes the obligatory typo (“inset” fingers), confusing directions (pull elevator doors outward?), pronoun mismatch ("doors" and "it") and a phrase in all caps with an exclamation point ("DON'T PANIC!" ala Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy). It also promises that in the event of a loss of power, the elevator will “drop down to the bottom floor.” I don’t know about you, but the last thing I want my elevator to do is DROP. Lower, maybe. Descend, certainly. But NEVER, in any circumstance, drop.

P.S. Yes that is a tap light, adhered with double-sided tape. Classy!

We Aim to Confuse

So, I have to make my standard disclaimer: my phone camera takes terrible pictures. I was recently at one of the local urgent care facilities when I found this. We've all seen this particular witticism in restrooms before, but on a mirror? In a hospital? Even that absurdity would not have been enough to make it a What The Foto. In the lower right corner, inside the circle, it reads 'Also a 3 1/2" x 5" Photo Frame.' What in the hell does that even mean?

Always Weird. Always

So, I’m not sure if this is sanctioned or not. What it appears to be is a drawing for a display layout (click to enbiggen for full effect). The drawing is taped to a huge pallet of Ramen Noodles. Apparently said noodles will sell better if they are arranged to form a ranch-style house, complete with garage and chimney. Because nothing screams chicken-flavored Ramen like suburbia.

He Was a Carpenter After All

We pass this roofing company when we go down to the river. As you can see, one of the buildings seems to yelling the name of the Christian Messiah. Since there is no additional information, I’m not sure if it is supposed to be an advertisement, an expletive, or simply a reminder. Whatever the case, I’m always compelled to shout “JESUS!” each time I see it.

As Stevie Nicks Once Said...

We were in California earlier this year and caught a glimpse of this “phenomenon”: buildings built at the top of a shear cliff of DIRT. This particular building is no more than 10 feet from a 25 foot drop off made of nothing but soil. No rocks, no clay, no reinforcement of any kind. I have no idea what keeps this from just dissolving and washing away when it rains. The one thing I am certain of is that the people who live in that house will be shocked, SHOCKED, when it does happen.

All Fruits are not Created Equal

We recently had breakfast at the local “down-on-the-farm” chain restaurant. While waiting for our food, I whiled away the time by flipping through the table tent advertisements. I found this jewel therein. I apologize for the picture quality (my phone camera does a terrible job of taking pictures up close). It reads as follows.

No Sugar Added! Country Apple Pie
Enjoy all the traditional taste without all the sugar! Natural fruit juices make this apple pie as sweet as can be. Served warm in a flaky crust. Sweetened with Aspartame.

I love ad copy that takes a sudden left at the end.

Miller Now Owns the Souls of Much of Wisconsin

A few weeks ago we attended Summerfest. We thoroughly enjoyed the numerous bands and even got to see Cheap Trick. The state-fair atmosphere, the beautiful weather and even the $5.00 beers were extremely pleasant. On the way home, I flipped the ticket over and read the “CONSENT” section. I was horrified to find out that I had agreed to having my “image and/or likeness, writings, biographical information or recordings of (my) voice captured or reproduced in any medium, forever and throughout the world, for any purpose.” I don’t know about you, but if I was the devil, that’s how I would have worded it.