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Today's post is courtesy of Musicmannnnn (I have no idea how many ns he's using these days).  Click the pictures to enbiggen.

So I'm looking at this and wondering what's up with it.  Sure the chicken theme is weird, especially the one with the substantial gluteal area.  The "SWEET GIFT" line is a bit creepy but not WTFoto worthy.  Then I received the zoom in:

Either there is a word missing or the tobacco industry has finally figured out how much to pay the Surgeon General.

Precision Does Not Necessarily Equate To Safety

Field correspondent Outlaw is back with another good one.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Traffic can be a pain near where I work, especially around 5:00 pm. I decided to cut through an apartment complex to cut the time. Yes, I know, you're technically not supposed to be doing that, but I'm a rebel, born to be wild, and you just can't cage me. Don't even try. However, I do try my best to be an observant driver. Check my blind spots, use my turn signal, obey the speed limit... but I simply refuse to bow to this. It's a bit absurd, don't you think? I mean, my speedometer doesn't even have individual markers to make sure that I'm actually going 9 mph. Why 9? Why not be like everyone else and make it 10? I even tried that through this particular parking lot. 10 mph is pretty flippin' slow. It's clear to me that the person managing this apartment complex is just being a dick. Who the hell goes 9 mph? Not this guy. I flew through there going 15... Take that, management...

Just Put That Anywhere

Field correspondent DoubleH send this to me a while ago.

Just because you HAVE a four wheel drive vehicle doesn't mean you have to USE the four wheel drive option.  Seriously, there is absolutely no reason this Jeep could not have fit nicely in that parking spot.  I guess they were worried about getting a door ding on the wood paneling.

No Title Needed

Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq. send me this one.  Not only is no title needed, there is no comment needed either.  You're on your own with it.

Lumber-Based Clothing Is The Best

This is another two-picture, zoom-in post.  Click the pictures to enbiggen.

Last week, I took advantage of the nice weather to enjoy lunch on the patio of a locally-owned restaurant.  I noticed the above cabinet mounted on the wall.  I assume it was custom made to enclose a television.  I then noted that there is text on the bottom board.  It has the manufacturer's name and logo in the middle, nothing unusual there.  Then I noticed this text on the left-hand edge:

"PRIME ALL CUTS":  Now that is good advice.  You don't want your board to rot from the cuts you make.

"Call Kurt for a Shirt":  Uhhh, what?  I assume there was a telephone number following that statement and I would love to know what kind of shirt a lumber manufacturer would provide.

A Windowless Van's Dream

Field correspondent PackerBacker saw this scene and sent me the pics.  Click the pictures to enbiggen.

So I'm looking at this picture and wondering why I had received it as a WTFoto.  It looks like fun.  Then she sends me a close up:

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is the universal "Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Say No Evil" symbol stenciled right on the play equipment.  Now, I'm not a parent, but I'm pretty sure that a playground is one of the places where a child should report anything strange they see.  Either that, or the manufacturer of this equipment wants to make sure that kids get that free candy.

Air Conditioned Porta-Potties?

Yet another one from ExplodyBones.

I was given this picture with no explanation so I guess I'll have to extrapolate.  There is a building in the vicinity.  There are portable restrooms behind it.  Those portable restrooms have features that the sign author likes.  The sign author does not know how to properly use capitalization, punctuation, grammar or spacing.  I think that's about all there is here.  

Pawn Brokers Hate Underwear

Here's another one from field correspondent Outlaw.

So this guy cut me off on my way to work this morning. I wasn't terribly worried about it, especially when i noticed his bumper sticker as i was behind him. He started to take off from the stop sign as i was scrambling to activate the camera on my phone. If you zoom in about as far as you can go, you'll see the the sticker says "Pull your pants up". Good statement. I support this sticker. However, that's not why i tried to snap the photo. Below that statement (which you can't read) simply states the name of a local pawn shop. No connection on the shop and why they're demanding that i keep my britches hiked. I don't even know what that has to do with anything. Perhaps they've had too many thuggish customers lately, or just in the new market of absurd bumper stickers? WTF indeed.

Like They Care...

Here's another one from field correspondent Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq.

To quote Mike Meyers - you put the emPHAsis on the wrong SyLLAble.

So, do they care about me or not?  If they did, wouldn't it be "Just as we care..." I feel like I just got dissed by a 14 year old teenie bopper tree hugger.

Safety First

Long-time field correspondent, Griz, sent me this picture and the following text.

Our building management decided that the covered walkway to our parking garage needed to be repaired (and by "repaired" they meant painted with a few coats of glossy, thick and shiny paint). Unfortunately this repair work left the walkway more slippery than a bowl of fresh badger squeezings. The first day it reopened several people fell whilst shuffling across it.  After the requisite public outcry (and the tragic squeezing of innumerable badgers) the building manager responded by heroically placing three safety cones along the center of its 50 foot span. I'm not exactly sure how much less slippery it is with the cones in place, but the added trip hazard obstacle course is a delight! I feel safer already!