Don't Make Me Take Off My Belt

Sausages in a can are disgusting. Damp little tubes of meat packed in meat-flavored jelly. I do have a confession to make: I will partake of a vienna sausage on occasion (that does not in any way make them less gross). These dandies, however, rise to the top of the disturbing meat list. Let's start with the obvious (click to enbiggen). Why does the kid's expression look like he just shart his pants? And how about those sausages? It isn't even a photo, it's a drawing. Even the manufacturer couldn't make their product photogenic enough to put on the label. But the worst thing of all are the ingredients. Someone else on the interwebs was kind enough to scan the label. Click here to see it but I warn you, it includes the words "skins", "spleens" and "stomachs".

Audience Participation Time!

Mrs. "The Original Fancy" Mac saw this business on her recent European trip and was kind enough to send it my way.
This one is just too easy! Please add your witticisms in the comments. Allow me to get the ball rolling...

"Funny. It was called The Tight Box before I went in."

***Update*** I knew I could count on you guys and you certainly didn't disappoint. I'm giving 5 bonus points to whomever posted the seafood reference.

It Would Definitely be SOME Sort of Experience

This is a billboard that was recently put up on my route home from work. Please, please click to enbiggen and take in the creepiness for yourself. So this guy is apparently a medical doctor and the naked profile is presumeably a patient. Why is he learing at her naked ass? I wonder if that "new you" comes with counseling...

That Really IS Convenient

On a recent trip to New Orleans, we had lunch out at this restaurant. The service wasn't particularly good, so I was considering giving an less-than-average tip (which is extremely unusual for me) until we received the bill. After a quick glance at this I decided to go ahead an give the server a full 20%, as calculated by them. Guilt relief has never been so convenient.

Safe for Pedophilia, That Is

This is another one from the "Wow, I forgot I had taken that" archive.
I was on a road trip with some peeps a couple of years ago and we determined that a bathroom break would be a good idea. We pulled into a gas station and saw this sign. It's hard to tell in this picture, but that sign is in an area of the parking lot that has no lighting. It was pitch black. Yep, that is the safest place I can think of: a dark corner of an empty gas station parking lot. Nothing bad could possibly happen there.

That Cannot Be What an Icebottle Is For

We found this little item at one of the local Asian stores (click to enbiggen). Allow me to quote: "ICEBOTTLE Keep it HOT!" Now clearly this is just a insulated container, which (by the laws of physics) will tend to keep whatever you put into it in the same general temperature range, i.e. it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. However, the implication is that it is a chiller that will keep things hot. Those Asians have all the best technologies.

For the observant, you will notice that some of the items they intend to keep hot include fried eggs and bananas. That is one hell of a picnic.

No Additional Problems Needed, Thank You

Sorry for the extended absence.
I found this in a gas station restroom on a recent trip. Please notify the cashiers if the restroom needs any other problems? "Miss? Yes, there isn't enough urine on the floor. Can you take care of that for me? Thanks."

Delicate Batteries

I purchased a piece of electronic equipment (a wireless microphone for those of you who must know) and the manufacturer was kind enough to include batteries. This is how they were packaged inside of other packaging. Since you can barely make them out, I will tell you that they are two Energizer AA batteries. They aren't even the Max or Lithium variety. Just two everyday batteries. The packaging department protected $.50 worth of batteries with approximately $2.00 with of bubble wrap. Maybe I've just been lucky with batteries in the past and should start exercising such care with them from now on.

In order for you to truly appreciate how well these batteries were protected, I present the same packaging from a side view.

Enough with the Plywood Already

I was rummaging through some old photos and came across this one that I took while in San Francisco (click to enbiggen). There are several things to enjoy here. First, the picture doesn't provide much in the way of scale; that banner is approximately 4 feet by 25 feet. Second, who would spend that kind of money on such an enigmatic sign? Finally, I can see concrete, planks, and aluminum studs but I really don't see much in the way of plywood here.

I've Got Nothing

Take a look. Take a long, hard look. Click to enbiggen and take a good, long, hard look. You tell me what is going on here.