It's The Fingers At The Top I Find Funniest

I'm sorry for being in absentia lately, I was traveling two weeks ago and ill last week.  Excuses, excuses.

Today's submission comes from our newest field correspondent Ring-Leader Lemur.  He captured this picture on the way down to the last float trip.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Why not slip in to Uranus?  You'll find some nice fudge. Maybe you want to get a Uranus tattoo.  No matter how you get into Uranus, I'm sure you'll nice it a cozy place that you'll never want to leave.

Maybe They're Selling The Air

I saw this at a major pharmacy chain recently. Click the picture to enbiggen.

 It is a container (presumably) used for mixing drinks to take with you.  Seems nice.  It's capacity is 28 ounces.  That is the key piece of information here.  Why?  Let's zoom in a bit.

Yes, the shelf label helpfully does the math to provide the per ounce cost of capacity.  Which is handy information to know.  If you want a 36 ounce container, that'll be $12.85.  Want a gallon? It'll cost $45.70.

Either Brilliant Or Terrible Advertising

I just walked out and took this picture at a nearby intersection.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

In case you can't make out what it says, it reads "Mowing" with a phone number.  My first thought was that no one would consider using them if they can't even provide upkeep for their sign.  However the more I thought about it, the tall grass might work for them, psychologically: "My goodness look at that tall grass.  My lawn is getting a bit tall as well.  And, conveniently, here is a number to call." 

Maybe The Dog Just Thinks They Are An Idiot

Some unknown co-worker offered these cans of dog food for someone to take.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

In case you didn't enbiggen, each of those are something and rice.  Rice.  A grain.  The phrase "grain of rice" falls just below "grain of salt" in the "grain of..." idioms.  Why would this person even add that anyway?  I didn't flip the note over but it probably said "vegan and GMO-free as well!!!"

Irony, It Can Be Pretty Ironic Sometimes

Lord Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq. sent this to me a month or so ago.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

What I'm saying is that you should never quit. I can quit whenever I want...

The Great State Of Hoio

Field correspondent Mrs. Musicmannn snapped this picture while traveling in Illinois.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

See, the shot glasses are stored upside down so it only makes sense that the label should be as well.  Either that or the state of Illinois doesn't approve of Ohio's promiscuous lifestyle.

The '80s, Encapsulated

Field correspondent ExplodyBones took this picture and sent it my way.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

3-2-1 Contact was a PBS show in the 80s which had the intention of fostering interest in science.  This episode is apparently about a young man who survived an hour of submersion in icy waters and explained the scientific reasons behind his survival.  That's not why this is here.  It's the 80-ness of the whole thing.  The clothes, the glasses, the colors,the... everything.  It's amazing what we can convince ourselves is a good idea.

BTW, yes, that is a stuffed panda nailed to the wall.

No News Is Good News

Today's submission is from regular contributor Lord Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq.

He writes:
And on the national news front today generic news happened. Frankly, I prefer this 'to be determined' image to what is actually out there.  This made me laugh, not weep, for the children of humanity.

I Don't Want To Be Macho

I saw this fine product in the clearance section of a national pharmacy chain store.  Please click the picture to enbiggen.

It's got a lot of good stuff in it: B vitamins, amino acids, ginseng, BOVINE GLANDULAR SUBSTANCE.  Hmm, that last one gives me pause.  Sure, the package shows a bull, but BOVINE GLANDULAR SUBSTANCE could be nearly anything excreted by a member of the subfamily Bovinae.  Buffalo sweat?  Maybe.  Yak tears?  It's possible.  Bison mucus?  Could be. Spiral-horned antelope semen? There is no way to rule it out.

Looks Like It Might Be A Long And Smelly Night

Field correspondent Millersburger sent me this a couple weeks ago.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

That is quite the unfortunate place for the printer to skip.  Or maybe the truth in advertising campaign has finally struck home for the vegetable platter industry.