The '80s, Encapsulated

Field correspondent ExplodyBones took this picture and sent it my way.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

3-2-1 Contact was a PBS show in the 80s which had the intention of fostering interest in science.  This episode is apparently about a young man who survived an hour of submersion in icy waters and explained the scientific reasons behind his survival.  That's not why this is here.  It's the 80-ness of the whole thing.  The clothes, the glasses, the colors,the... everything.  It's amazing what we can convince ourselves is a good idea.

BTW, yes, that is a stuffed panda nailed to the wall.

No News Is Good News

Today's submission is from regular contributor Lord Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq.

He writes:
And on the national news front today generic news happened. Frankly, I prefer this 'to be determined' image to what is actually out there.  This made me laugh, not weep, for the children of humanity.

I Don't Want To Be Macho

I saw this fine product in the clearance section of a national pharmacy chain store.  Please click the picture to enbiggen.

It's got a lot of good stuff in it: B vitamins, amino acids, ginseng, BOVINE GLANDULAR SUBSTANCE.  Hmm, that last one gives me pause.  Sure, the package shows a bull, but BOVINE GLANDULAR SUBSTANCE could be nearly anything excreted by a member of the subfamily Bovinae.  Buffalo sweat?  Maybe.  Yak tears?  It's possible.  Bison mucus?  Could be. Spiral-horned antelope semen? There is no way to rule it out.

Looks Like It Might Be A Long And Smelly Night

Field correspondent Millersburger sent me this a couple weeks ago.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

That is quite the unfortunate place for the printer to skip.  Or maybe the truth in advertising campaign has finally struck home for the vegetable platter industry.

That's Just Super

Sorry for the hiatus, I was out of the country.  Today's post comes from our newest field correspondent, LorMe.  Click the picture if you would like to enbiggen.

This sign is in front of a tiny bar that is at the intersection of two rural highways.  Aside from the letter spacing which is trying its hardest to change the meaning (I'm certain they wanted people to "bring" a dish, not "bang" one), the whole concept is just bizarre.  How many potlucks at a bar have you been to?  It's just like going over to a friend's place to watch the big game, except you have to pay for the beer.  And be sure to come out for karaoke, just bring your own CDs, microphone, speakers...

Won't Someone Think Of The Children

Today's post comes courtesy of our newest field correspondent, FoxyLove.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

He writes "we teach your kids about the continent of reverse Africa or perhaps south America with a back scrotum."

Seriously, how difficult would it be to make the world look more like the world.  The apple looks like an apple. The globe stand looks like a globe stand.  The sole reason this item exists is for the education of children.  Put a bit more effort into making it actually educational.

Dear Lord, Woman, What Happened To You In Prison?

Field correspondent, ExplodyBones, snapped this pic and sent it to me.

Any chef will take a look at this and say "oh, that's used get juice out of citrus fruit" but I don't think that's the whole story here.  Take a gander at the pained look and clinched-tooth smile on Martha's face.  And there's the phrase "Why you'll love Martha's WOOD REAMER".  Why, indeed?

Price Check On Aisle 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 11 And 14

Today's post comes from regular contributor, Shu.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

This is at a small shopping plaza in Myrtle Beach, S.C. I honestly don't know if the "price" signs are for the same store or for three competing stores. If it's just one store, it's suffering from a major identity crisis. If they are three different stores, perhaps the most expensive one could brand itself as the Nieman-Marcus of discount stores.

Not An Ad For The Next Magic Mike Movie

I saw this, uh, "marketing attempt" a couple weeks ago.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Nothing will bring in the shopping masses like shouting "HARD WOOD SOFT PRICES" at them.  I get it: that is supposed to be a play on words.  And I guess it is but it's one that a pre-teenage boy would come up with.  I just wish they would have continued with the metaphor and hired a sign spinner in a G-string with that phrase on it.  That would have moved some wood.

What? Just... What???

Today's submission was given to me by field correspondent Dr. Nurse without any context.  Do click the picture to enbiggen.

The two things I am fairly sure about with this is it is from Taiwan and I think it is a food product.  Other than those, I have no idea what is going on here.  It calls itself "Snow Lovers Chocolate Corn Roll".  We receive assurance from a sticker placed on the upper right of the package that it is fully baked.  What really throws me is the phrase in the baby-poop-brown circle that reads "Grain Vegetarian Meat Floss".  So, if you want a foodstuff that promises to fulfill nearly every course of a meal, I guess this is your best option.