Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Goats But Were Afraid To Ask

I cannot remember which office I was in when I spied this, but I knew it had to be documented. Click the picture to enbiggen. Where to begin on this? Let's start with the "Plus" section. I'm curious about the history lesson and exactly where the goats have made it to. Moving onto the "How To..." section, you can learn to make soap from goat milk, but apparently the cheese is made from the goat itself. The best article, however, has to be "How to have fun with your goats." Isn't that illegal in most of the United States?

Lizzie Borden's Valentine

Correspondent TMDA snapped this image and sent it my way.

This is just odd. First, is it even legal to sell "Mary's Mystery Box?" And how about the free gift with every order: a Here's Mary knife. If that doesn't scream Jack Nicholson from The Shining, I don't know what does. Who says that romance is dead? For only $22.00, you too can celebrate with cutlery and the embodiment of Pandora...

The Creepest Flyer EVAR

I found this whilst on vacation. Allow me to summarize: this person received some money as a Christmas gift and would like to use it to purchase a gun. Not a particular gun, pretty much any gun. He or she isn't even picky about whether it is a handgun or rifle. Just give them something that SHOOTS!!! I considered keeping an eye on the local newspapers to see if there was a shooting spree, but I would have felt involved somehow.

World's Most Dangerous Urinal

So this is one that you will definitely have to enbiggen. The reason this picture is here isn't the fact that it is covered in a plastic bag. I'm not sure that the caution tape would be enough to make it a What The Foto. What gets this posted is what is printed on the tape: "CAUTION! NO ONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18 YEARS IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH OR OPERATE THIS BALER." I'm glad they identified that object, because I would have mistaken it for an actual urinal. There is no way I want my penis anywhere near a baler, especially one in disguise.

Black & Decker Acquire Ownership Of Halloween

I purchased a set of nutdrivers (heh) the other day and this is the packaging (click the picture to enbiggen). Focus your attention on the text to the left of the bar code: "Orange and Black is trademark of The Black & Decker Corporation." Unless I'm pretty far off base, black and orange have be associated with Halloween for a long time now. Does this mean that we will have to start paying royalties to B&D at the end of each October. At least we can hope this ends the reign of those crappy black and orange peanut butter kisses.

"Clean" Is A Verb In This Instance

Field correspondent Shu comes through once again.

There's too much good stuff here just for one witty comment:

1. Apu was disappointed that nobody volunteered to sign up for bathroom duty. He figured that at least Ol' Gil would step up to the plate. Er, bowl.

2. AAA has rated this men's room as The Worst Public Restroom In The World.

3. Don't worry about that silly notion of aiming for the bowl. They don't care.

4. If you stop at a public restroom and the inspection chart is blank, hold it in until the next restroom.

5. That sign is a clean slate, in contrast to the floors.

Feel free to add your contributions in the comments.

Clearly An Impenetrable Barrier

Seems like I’ve had a number of excuses for not posting, including the fact that I was on vacation last week, but no more! I shall return to my semi-regular, frequently semi-weekly postings starting with…

I saw this a couple of weeks ago in the parking lot of a local grocery store (click the picture to enbiggen). I appreciate the intention, to prevent patrons from driving into a large pothole, however the execution is sorely lacking. Let’s see here, there is the haphazard arrangement of the carts, the plastic cart from a different store and (my favorite) the yellow caution tape holding it all together. If that doesn’t limit their liability I don’t know what would.