More Cold? Less Cold?

The week before Christmas it got cold here.  I snapped this picture of the Weather Channel widget I have on my computer.

Yes, it is claiming that the temperature is negative zero degrees Fahrenheit.  Is colder than regular zero?

If You Have To Ask, You Probably Are

Today we have another post from the ever-prolific Shu.

I wonder if they do this like play reviews in football. Announcer: "The referee is checking to see if the receiver has one foot or both feet in the grave. Here's the ruling." Referee: "Upon further review, the receiver maintained possession and had both feet in the grave. The official ruling...you are gone!" Announcer: "Tough break. On the bright side, he won't be charged with a time out."

Redefining Several Words

I got myself a fancy new glass screen protector for my phone.  Here is the package. Click the picture to enbiggen.

There are a lot of features listed here:
 - Toughened GLASS
 - 9 H (hardness?)
 - Oleophobic coating
 - Anti-Scratching/Anti-Shattering
 - Explosion proof!!!

Hold on a second.  What's that say in the lower left?  "Please handle with care. FRAGILE"??? What the f.........

Breaking News From Captain Obvious

Field correspondent, Millersburger, snapped this excellent picture and sent it my way.

Our other top headlines for this hour:
 - Water is wet
 - The Pope is Catholic
 - Bears frequently defecate in forested areas

We Welcome Our Squirrel Overlords

Today's post comes from Outlaw.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

It's a bit difficult to make out but, yes, that is a stalk of corn growing out of the gutter on the roof.  This is evidence that squirrels have become sentient and have taken up agriculture.  It won't be long before they get organized and overthrow humans.  Oh well, we had a good run.

Regular Gas...Plus Premium Hot Dogs

Regular contributor, Shu, snapped this pic and sent it my way. Click it to enbiggen.

Not sure if this is a gas station that specializes in hot dogs or a hot dog stand that also sells gasoline. I'm guessing the latter, seeing that the hot dogs are premium and the gas is only regular.

Sting Could Move Some Dairy Products

Frankie and I went to Wisconsin recently and saw this in a store (of course it was).  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Set to the music of "Set Them Free":
If you love somebody, if you love someone,
If you love somebody, if you love someone get them cheese.
(Cheese, cheese, get them cheese.)
Get them cheese.
(Cheese, cheese, get them cheese.)

How To Get Your House TPed

I saw these at a major retail chain recently.  Click to enbiggen.

While I have to admit, it is fun to say "Trick-or-Treat Giveaway Fingers", that is not the reason kids go door-to-door on Halloween.  It's for candy.  And only candy.  Oh, sure, you could use these as decoration, but if you put these in a trick-or-treat bag, you're resigning yourself to getting out the garden hose on November 1st.

Strange Bedfellows

I saw this at an area gas station recently.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

I'm going to tread lightly here.  I think that charitable work is some of the most important work anyone can do.  If a company helps those in need, that is a good thing.  However, this is just such a juxtaposition that I had to include it here.  "Air, helping to feed starving children."

Make Any Room Smell Like The Boss

Regular contributor, ExplodyBones, snapped this picture and sent it my way.

A "Classic Denim" candle?  Is that even a scent?  When I asked what it smells like, I was told "It smells like Bruce Springsteen".  And now you know why it's on the clearance rack.

Breaking News: Lutherans Love The BBC

Frankie and I took a long weekend a couple weeks ago and went up to Wisconsin.  We stayed at a B&B in a small town outside of Madison.  On our way back one day, I took a wrong turn and was presented with this.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Scenes such as this is the reason I have this blog.  The TARDIS in front of a rural Wisconsin Lutheran church.  Unexplained, inexplicable and incongruent. They are apparently aware of how old Dr. Who is because it looks like it's parked in a Senior Citizen Only spot.

Location, Location, Location

Field correspondent Outlaw saw this in a restroom and send this picture to me.  You know how to enbiggen...

First, I don't think I would call an advertisement that size a "billboard". And they're a bit high on the percentage of water in people (unless you're an infant).  Other than that, it's nice too see someone exploit one's biological needs for profit.

Buster Poindexter's Sink

I saw this in a gas station restroom while traveling recently. Click to enbiggen.

The ironic thing is that neither one provided hot water; both only produced cold...

Call To Action

In what comes as a shock to me (what with all the weirdness in the world), I am out of source material for What The Foto.  If anyone sees something WFToto-worthy, snap a pic and send it my way with whatever commentary you think is appropriate.  The email address is: WTFotoPics [at] outlook [dot] com.  I look forward to seeing all the strangeness that I know is out there.

The People's Candidate

I saw this sticker on a store window whilst walking downtown in our fair capital city.

There is just so much going on here.  First, why is he dressed as Santa Claus? He loves the whole world as is evidenced by the fact that he is "Approved by All Gods".  I'm pretty sure I don't want to know what "Coming From The Back Door" means.  He parties by himself which is "In The History Books, Check & See".

For those who are not familiar with Mr. Steinmann, he is a perpetual candidate.  This year he was on the Democratic primary ballot for governor.  In 2014, he was running as a Republican for the U.S. House of Representatives.  You can check out his illustrious career, as well as the best candidate photo ever, here.  Oh, and he used to live two doors down from Frankie.

Please Don't Mock, Give A Sock

Frankie and I had breakfast at a small diner a couple weeks ago and I saw this sign on top of the pastry case.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

I have to assume that this is a real charity that is asking people to donate socks to those in need.  Personally, I think there are other pieces of clothing which could be considered more important (even in the foot region). However, I would never stand in the way of someone doing good work so if you have any extra socks, I know where you can send them.

Okay Folks, Show's Over... Nothing To See Here

Regular contributor Shu sent this my way.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Chief Wiggum has been reassigned to traffic duty in North Myrtle Beach, S.C. Unfortunately, there was an accident right after I snapped this photo, but Wiggum was quick to the scene.
"Hey, let's dig through the rubble! Gather around, everybody! Don't be shy, gather around!"

You No Come!

Frankie and I saw this a couple weeks ago.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

The owners of this restaurant must be extremely excited about being closed.  They're closed every Sunday!  And from July 2 - 6!  For 5 days!  To be fair, I've worked in food service for the first 12 years of my working career and I was always happy to have a day off.

Tonya Sue Wilson was a beautiful person

On Monday, July 4, my sister Tonya passed away.  She was a mother, grandmother, daughter and sister.  She always had a smile on her face.  She never complained.  She made life better for everyone who knew her.  I will miss her always.

It's The Fingers At The Top I Find Funniest

I'm sorry for being in absentia lately, I was traveling two weeks ago and ill last week.  Excuses, excuses.

Today's submission comes from our newest field correspondent Ring-Leader Lemur.  He captured this picture on the way down to the last float trip.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Why not slip in to Uranus?  You'll find some nice fudge. Maybe you want to get a Uranus tattoo.  No matter how you get into Uranus, I'm sure you'll nice it a cozy place that you'll never want to leave.

Maybe They're Selling The Air

I saw this at a major pharmacy chain recently. Click the picture to enbiggen.

 It is a container (presumably) used for mixing drinks to take with you.  Seems nice.  It's capacity is 28 ounces.  That is the key piece of information here.  Why?  Let's zoom in a bit.

Yes, the shelf label helpfully does the math to provide the per ounce cost of capacity.  Which is handy information to know.  If you want a 36 ounce container, that'll be $12.85.  Want a gallon? It'll cost $45.70.

Either Brilliant Or Terrible Advertising

I just walked out and took this picture at a nearby intersection.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

In case you can't make out what it says, it reads "Mowing" with a phone number.  My first thought was that no one would consider using them if they can't even provide upkeep for their sign.  However the more I thought about it, the tall grass might work for them, psychologically: "My goodness look at that tall grass.  My lawn is getting a bit tall as well.  And, conveniently, here is a number to call." 

Maybe The Dog Just Thinks They Are An Idiot

Some unknown co-worker offered these cans of dog food for someone to take.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

In case you didn't enbiggen, each of those are something and rice.  Rice.  A grain.  The phrase "grain of rice" falls just below "grain of salt" in the "grain of..." idioms.  Why would this person even add that anyway?  I didn't flip the note over but it probably said "vegan and GMO-free as well!!!"

Irony, It Can Be Pretty Ironic Sometimes

Lord Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq. sent this to me a month or so ago.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

What I'm saying is that you should never quit. I can quit whenever I want...

The Great State Of Hoio

Field correspondent Mrs. Musicmannn snapped this picture while traveling in Illinois.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

See, the shot glasses are stored upside down so it only makes sense that the label should be as well.  Either that or the state of Illinois doesn't approve of Ohio's promiscuous lifestyle.

The '80s, Encapsulated

Field correspondent ExplodyBones took this picture and sent it my way.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

3-2-1 Contact was a PBS show in the 80s which had the intention of fostering interest in science.  This episode is apparently about a young man who survived an hour of submersion in icy waters and explained the scientific reasons behind his survival.  That's not why this is here.  It's the 80-ness of the whole thing.  The clothes, the glasses, the colors,the... everything.  It's amazing what we can convince ourselves is a good idea.

BTW, yes, that is a stuffed panda nailed to the wall.

No News Is Good News

Today's submission is from regular contributor Lord Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq.

He writes:
And on the national news front today generic news happened. Frankly, I prefer this 'to be determined' image to what is actually out there.  This made me laugh, not weep, for the children of humanity.

I Don't Want To Be Macho

I saw this fine product in the clearance section of a national pharmacy chain store.  Please click the picture to enbiggen.

It's got a lot of good stuff in it: B vitamins, amino acids, ginseng, BOVINE GLANDULAR SUBSTANCE.  Hmm, that last one gives me pause.  Sure, the package shows a bull, but BOVINE GLANDULAR SUBSTANCE could be nearly anything excreted by a member of the subfamily Bovinae.  Buffalo sweat?  Maybe.  Yak tears?  It's possible.  Bison mucus?  Could be. Spiral-horned antelope semen? There is no way to rule it out.

Looks Like It Might Be A Long And Smelly Night

Field correspondent Millersburger sent me this a couple weeks ago.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

That is quite the unfortunate place for the printer to skip.  Or maybe the truth in advertising campaign has finally struck home for the vegetable platter industry.

That's Just Super

Sorry for the hiatus, I was out of the country.  Today's post comes from our newest field correspondent, LorMe.  Click the picture if you would like to enbiggen.

This sign is in front of a tiny bar that is at the intersection of two rural highways.  Aside from the letter spacing which is trying its hardest to change the meaning (I'm certain they wanted people to "bring" a dish, not "bang" one), the whole concept is just bizarre.  How many potlucks at a bar have you been to?  It's just like going over to a friend's place to watch the big game, except you have to pay for the beer.  And be sure to come out for karaoke, just bring your own CDs, microphone, speakers...

Won't Someone Think Of The Children

Today's post comes courtesy of our newest field correspondent, FoxyLove.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

He writes "we teach your kids about the continent of reverse Africa or perhaps south America with a back scrotum."

Seriously, how difficult would it be to make the world look more like the world.  The apple looks like an apple. The globe stand looks like a globe stand.  The sole reason this item exists is for the education of children.  Put a bit more effort into making it actually educational.

Dear Lord, Woman, What Happened To You In Prison?

Field correspondent, ExplodyBones, snapped this pic and sent it to me.

Any chef will take a look at this and say "oh, that's used get juice out of citrus fruit" but I don't think that's the whole story here.  Take a gander at the pained look and clinched-tooth smile on Martha's face.  And there's the phrase "Why you'll love Martha's WOOD REAMER".  Why, indeed?

Price Check On Aisle 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 11 And 14

Today's post comes from regular contributor, Shu.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

This is at a small shopping plaza in Myrtle Beach, S.C. I honestly don't know if the "price" signs are for the same store or for three competing stores. If it's just one store, it's suffering from a major identity crisis. If they are three different stores, perhaps the most expensive one could brand itself as the Nieman-Marcus of discount stores.

Not An Ad For The Next Magic Mike Movie

I saw this, uh, "marketing attempt" a couple weeks ago.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Nothing will bring in the shopping masses like shouting "HARD WOOD SOFT PRICES" at them.  I get it: that is supposed to be a play on words.  And I guess it is but it's one that a pre-teenage boy would come up with.  I just wish they would have continued with the metaphor and hired a sign spinner in a G-string with that phrase on it.  That would have moved some wood.

What? Just... What???

Today's submission was given to me by field correspondent Dr. Nurse without any context.  Do click the picture to enbiggen.

The two things I am fairly sure about with this is it is from Taiwan and I think it is a food product.  Other than those, I have no idea what is going on here.  It calls itself "Snow Lovers Chocolate Corn Roll".  We receive assurance from a sticker placed on the upper right of the package that it is fully baked.  What really throws me is the phrase in the baby-poop-brown circle that reads "Grain Vegetarian Meat Floss".  So, if you want a foodstuff that promises to fulfill nearly every course of a meal, I guess this is your best option.

Seems Like Something One Would Remember

I got my oil change the other day and took advantage of their shuttle service.  I hoped in the front seat and, while waiting for the driver, glanced at the radio.  This is what I saw.  Click to enbiggen.

For my younger readers, The Delfonics was an R&B group in the 1960s and 70s.  One of their big hits was "Didn't I (Blow Your Mind This Time)".  Feel free to watch it here.  Now, I know there are a limited number of characters that can be displayed on radios such as this but this is just a bit too perfect.   It's almost an R&B groupie's inner dialog:  "Hmmm, I think I remember something about that.  Did I?..."

Pandora's Switch

We are graced with another submission from field correspondent Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq.

You're crazy enough to gamble with all of our lives, aren't you?  Don't mess with forces you don't understand.  C'mon, man, let's be rational here.  It's just not worth it.  Stop reaching toward it.  Just slowly lower your hand.

I mean it, just stop!

DON'T DO IT!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Medication Needed

I was in a national pharmacy chain the other day when I caught sight of this.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

That, my friends, is a pill case that conveniently attaches to the audio jack of your cell phone.  The packaging claims that is will make travel easier.  Let's check into to claim.  With this fine piece on engineering stuck on your phone, would you be able to put it in your:
 - pocket? (no)
 - phone case? (no)
 - purse? (maybe, but I highly doubt it would stay attached)
 - suitcase? (absolutely, but what would be the point)

I think the the best use of this product would be to fool people into thinking you can take credit cards.

Exact Approximation Only

Today's post comes from the ever-prolific correspondent, Shu.

I had to slice an onion in half and return it to produce because I had exactly 12 items.

Don't Believe The Hype

I took this picture a couple weeks ago and for the life of me, I can't remember where I was.  Clickin' to engiggen.

I think this is Big Cardboard trying to push the plastic industry out of packaged water.  What a disgrace...