I Believe He's Actually Called Krampus

My niece, The Niece, took this pic and sent it my way.  Apparently someone else stopped, got out of their car and took a picture while she was.

Happy holidays, everyone!

What Did You Call Me? No Seriously, What Did You Call Me?

Hello, WTFotoers.  I apologize for the hiatus but BeerGirl and I have moved to a new place and it's been a madhouse.  I think things have settled to the point where I can start posting regularly.  As a reminder, if you see anything that you think should be presented here, send it to WTFotoPics[at]outlook[dot]com.  On to the post.

One of our top contributors, Shu, sent this.  Honestly, it took me a minute to see what he was getting at.  Click the picture if you wish to enbiggen.

Shu writes:  This was among many signs and memorabilia featured in a wonderful home cooking family restaurant in Morganton, N.C. At first glance, this is an amusing joke. But upon closer inspection, there's something amiss. See if you can spot it and then tell me if you think it was an innocent gaffe or done intentionally to make each person who reads it feel like, what's the word, a dum-dum?

Each (By The Each)

The Griz family is making their mark here on WTFoto.  Today's pic is from Mrs. Griz.  Clicken to enbiggen.

There is nothing I don't love about this sign.

Woohoo!

Senior field correspondent, Griz, snapped this picture and sent it my way.

That, my friends, is a product called Drinking Vinegar.  Cucumber Ginger Drinking Vinegar to be precise.  Now,  I'm would never make any comparisons about feminine products but Griz might...

"Woohoo! Said nobody ever regarding "drinking vinegar".  Do people often confuse their cucumber ginger douching vinegar with their cucumber vinegar drinking vinegar or what?  Just wondering why all the qualifiers.  Actually I feel like "drinking" should be in quotations right on the label.  Seems more like a dare than an actual product meant for human consumption."

MoBev Leftovers

BeerGirl was perusing the walk-in beer cooler at one of our local grocery stores when she saw this.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

The Missouri Beverage Association (http://mobev.org/) is "the state trade association for non-alcoholic beverage producers, marketers, bottlers and distributors."  So what in the hell lead up to this picture?  Why would a non-alcoholic lobbying group have a labeled spot in the beer cave?  Why would someone store their lunch in there?  WHO HAS CORN WITH SPAGHETTI???

At Least It Doesn't Say 'Free Candy'

In honor of Halloween regular contributor, Doctor Nurse, took this picture and sent it my way.  Click to enbiggen the creepiness.

This is a store.  It is being remodeled.  It is open.  These are things that can be empirically noted from this image.  Also to be noted is that I would never go in there.  There is too much here for me to cover but the "YES WE'REOPEN" and the arrows pointing at the door just scream serial killer.  I'm sure whoever wielded that spray paint can was trying to help but it just adds to the overall "cabin in the woods" vibe. 

How Are These Still A Thing?

On the way back from our last float trip, we stopped at a gas station in a small town to use the facilities.  Just above the toilet in the men's room was this:

No need to zoom, I'll do that here for you.

There are two condom options (both featuring a variation of ribbing) and, the most confusing, assorted novelty items.  What could possibly be in there and who would put 75¢ in one of these machines?  The best part is that one might possibly get a gift.  "Honey, I didn't forget our anniversary, I just need to run down to the gas station for a second..."

Maybe There's A Phone Booth Nudity Problem In London?

Field correspondent BeerGirl traveled all the way to the United Kingdom to find some What The Fotos and, boy howdy, was she successful.  Here is the first post in what will be a very irregular segment.  Click to enbiggen.

At least they give you two excuses you can provide to the police when you are arrested.  However this bus stop does illuminate the legal principle of ignorantia juris non excusat, so it's got that going for it.

God's Direct Line

Contributor BeerGirl snapped this picture and sent it my way.  Clicken to enbiggen.

Not every deity would give out their phone number.  I mean, can you imagine the number of telemarketing calls he must get?  At least those who aren't interested in religion now have at least one number they can block.

For those who ARE interested in learning about the Catholic faith, I guess you'll have to wait until next semester.

Patio For Four

We haven't heard from field correspondent, Stroker in a while but he's back.  He snapped this in Kansas City and sent it my way.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

I think I take exception to nearly all of the words on that sign: I see no "garden"; I'm not sure I'd call it a "patio" and it does not appear "open".  I will concede that the time is "now".  There is a picture of a much nicer patio on that sign so maybe this is just a teaser patio for wherever that one is.

Most Scams Are Not This Honest

My niece, The Niece, took this picture and sent it to me.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

This is one of the best money makers I've seen in years.  This beverage machine is not working but please DO USE it.  Please continue to put money into it while not receiving any product. And anyone who is foolish enough to go to Ops, I'm sure they'll just take your money and not give you anything either.

Maybe It's A Prototype

Long time contributor, Griz, told Mrs. Griz to take this picture and send it to me.  He delegates well.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that's an aftermarket structure.  What gives me that feeling is the teeny tiny air conditioning unit.  Also, the unopenable door.  And the security light.  And the dryer vent over the tire.  And the fact that it looks so top-heavy that it would fall over changing lanes.  But that's all.

Stuck In The Middle With You

Our newest field correspondent, Gnome, snapped this pic.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

I'm certain there are jokers in that vehicle to the right.

Next Week: Navel Lint Sculptors

I wasn't intending to do a series on the Expo Center reader board but Outlaw send me a second one.  

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He writes:  Has the expo center really run out of events that they have to host?  The Aladdin lamp collectors and now this?

Now, I understand that caring for the elderly is a serious and important responsibility and when they are frail it is even more difficult prospect.  The people who devote their lives to that deserve everyone's respect and admiration.

But, come on,  yelling "WELCOME FRAIL ELDERLY CONFERENCE" is absolutely going to get some attention here.

Jafar Would Be Simply Giddy

Regular contributor, Outlaw, snapped this picture and sent it my way.

He writes: So this is happening.  I bet it's a bunch of nerdy men wearing those little shoes with the curled up toes, baggy PJ bottoms and doing their best Genie impressions in the voice of Robin Williams.

I think it looks a bit roomy to me.  If I recall correctly, your average genie only needs an itty bitty living space.

Just Like With Sex, Apologize First

I've driven past this hotel chain's sign more times than I can count but I finally read it the other day.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

It's not a great comfort when a hotel has a permanent sign that basically says, "We're going to screw up but, don't worry,  we'll try to fix it."  What mottoes did they pass on?  Mayhap I shall hypothesize:
 - "Friendliest Bedbugs In Town!"
 - "All Rooms Now Include Doors (for a reasonable up-charge)"
 - "Don't Worry, We Fired That Guy"

And for the inevitable questions, no I do not know what an "AIK" is and why you can get unlimited WiFi with one.

The Best Part Of Waking Up Is Africa In Your Cup

This is bag of coffee that my boss bought off the interwebs.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

That line right below the name, Big Bang (heh!), reads "Brilliant Blend with Natural Ethiopia".  Let me reiterate: WITH Ethiopia.  I'm not sure how any product can contain a country, natural or otherwise, other than literally putting soil in it.  Don't get me wrong, it's very good coffee.  I'm just pleased that they put the two main ingredients on the front of the package.

I Truly Hope This Was Just An Oversight

I saw this stack of calendars when I was at a local business a couple weeks ago. Click the picture to enbiggen.

These are provided by a local insurance agent and they want to make your Mondays better by putting little quips on those days such as "Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home" and "You never truly understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother".  I'll just let you check out what's on the 16th.

A New New-And-Improved

Our newest field correspondent, Little Mamma, took this pic and sent it my way.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Looky what we have here.  It's Van Camp's new original recipe baked beans!  Or is that original new recipe baked beans?  Whichever it is, it's the newest, most originalist, baked-beanyist recipe you'll find in a can today.

From The Department Of Redundancy Department

We haven't heard from Lord Captain Dr. "The Original Chip" Mac, esq. lately but that's who gives us today's post.  Clicken to enbiggen.

This is like a infinity mirror or matryoshka doll of legalize.  Why stop at just one iteration?  And how to even know when to stop.  Lawyers are a self-sustaining profession.

Do It Like A Westerner

Correspondent Fireman Tim took this picture in a bathroom in Iceland.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

I don't know about anyone else out there but I don't think I have the calf strength to pull off that position on the right.

Because "Trough Of Grub" Is Copyrighted

Today's contribution from the seemingly co-author of this bog, Shu.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Where to start. This is a restaurant off of Interstate 95 in rural North Carolina, just a few miles of the North Carolina-South Carolina border.  I'm guessing that whoever came up with the name Barrel of Meal also came up with Mr. Burns' Casino.
"Homer, let's go to Barrel of Meal!"
"Yes! I've got a hankering for Meal. Mmmm...meal."

With a name like Barrel Of Meal, why is there not a mile long line to get in? (Or get out.) There's a Closed sign on the door. This was mid-afternoon, so I don't know if they serve only breakfast and lunch, or if they don't open until dinner, or the name Barrel Of Meal caught on about as well as the movie versions of Howard The Duck and The Adventures Of Pluto Nash, and it's closed permanently.

But wait, there's more.

Check out what's lurking behind the right-hand side of the restaurant. Does that mean Barrel Of Meal is, indeed, still in business and you don't have to go to the Restaurant At The End Of The Universe to meet the Meat of the Day. The liver is believed to be tender as he has been force feeding himself all week. And don't worry, when he turns himself into your barrel of meal, he'll be very humane. So, reservations for barrels for how many?

Childhood Obesity Is Becoming Too Accepted

Today's post comes from our newest correspondent, BeerGirl.  I don't think there's a need to enbiggen today,

This is just insensitive. On a positive note, with that many families, I'm sure there will be an excellent selection of large children to choose from.

Another Misquote

Sorry that posting has been less than consistent lately. It's like life wants things from me.  Anywho, today's contribution comes from field correspondent, The Sheriff.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

He writes:  Why does "Acceptable For Fan Support" need the quotations?  Is the ceiling fan trying to be sarcastic?

I personally think this label is citing another ceiling fan and wants to give it proper credit.  I'm sure the footnote is just really small.

Location, Location, Location

I think I've used that title a couple times.  Anywho, today we have another contribution from the ever-prolific Shu.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Those employees who are reading this sign probably already washed their hands. Those employees who need to be told to wash their hands will probably never see this sign. Unless they peed on their hands.

A Nice Asian Word Salad (Croutons Extra)

My nephew ("The Nephew) bought a USB DVD drive from the internet and these are the "instructions" that came with it.  Please click to enbiggen.

We're going to do this one list style.

• We start off strong with a nice string of tangentially related words.  I'm not sure what a "starage" device is or how it will display "My Computer", but that's the least-wrong thing here. 
• I will need more guidance on how to "select 'pop-up' in the tray into the disc to read". 
• I do like the reminder to protect one's eyes of the face.
• Most computer devices should not be placed on the strong magnetic objects, no matter how close they are.
• "Unstable items"?  Emotionally?  Financially?  I need more information here.
• And finally, for that ladies, don't put this "on the vulnerable to squeeze place" if you want "narmal machine use".

I think that just about covers it.

You, Too, Can Turn Your Lawn Into A Gas Chamber

I saw this product while shopping for wholly unrelated home improvement items a couple weeks ago.  You definitely need to click that picture to enbiggen.

Seriously, I don't know where to begin here.  How about "Pressurized Fumes Find Rodents Fast!" like it's a rodent-seeking missile.  Or "Kills more than one at a time" which is a really positive spin on this indiscriminate approach. Or, worst of all, the underground scene in the lower left corner (which I will not provide a close-up).

On a positive note, you have an excellent option when you finally can no longer live with what you've done.

Men's Room And Grill

I participated in a fund-raiser trivia night a couple weeks ago.  On my first trip to the restroom, I saw this. Click the picture to enbiggen.

Now, I know that right-hand symbol indicates that it has a baby changing table.  But I cannot get over the fact of how much it looks like a grill.  Complete with red dot for the pilot light.

Screw It, Close Enough

Today's post comes from field correspondent Outlaw, who snapped this picture while stopped at a red light.  Click to enbiggen.

Not so much here... or here...

Sarcastic Much?

Today's post is yet another from the fecund field correspondent, Shu.  Click to enbiggen.

Maybe it is a message of genuine appreciation for those who patronized this establishment. Or it might be a thinly veiled middle finger directed at those who didn't.

Excuse Me, Stewardess? I'd Like To Move.

Today's post is courtesy of our newest field correspondent, The Sheriff.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

On our recent vacation to Honduras, he was seated in an exit row of the airplane.  As he was dutifully reading the airplane safety card, he noticed one requirement that was, let's say, different from the rest.  Let's look at that third-from-last bullet: "sufficient...oral capacity".  Hmm, I've flown a fair amount and don't recall that ever being mentioned.  And I would think that would severely delay the deplaning process.  But I guess they do things differently in Central America.

Jesus Had Better Behave Himself

I apologize for the hiatus but I've had a lot going on lately.  I went on a tropical vacation, quit one job and started a new one.  Hopefully I'll get back on track.

Frankie and I took a trip last year during which we visited a botanical garden.  We saw this sign while there.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

"Stay OFF the Pools".  Off, it says.  If that word wasn't in all caps I might just let it slide.  But it says "off" and not "out of".  I assume the author of this sign is wanting visitors to not climb on the stone walls.  But that would have been easy to say: "Stay off walls".  Maybe it does mean to keep out of the water but that "OFF" really is pretty emphatic about what it wants.  So I am left with understanding that they to not want visitors to treat their pools like the Sea of Galilee.

How To Class Up A Place

Today's post comes from a correspondent from whom we haven't heard in a while.  It's Griz!  Clicken to enbiggen.

Nothing says you have an eye for art like buying a picture of Old Wine.  Old Wine is one of my favorite brands/styles/varietals. In fact, Frankie and I went out for dinner last night and we enjoyed a bottle of Old Wine with it.  So as Griz says, "class up the joint with some paintings of, you know, Old Wine and stuff..."

8 Simple Rules To Use My Bathroom

Back-to-back posts by Shu.  Click the pics to enbiggen.

This occurred at a Marathon in Melbourne, Fla. Before the manager would give me a key to the outdoor restroom, he lectured me about reading and following all of the rules posted in the restroom. After I assured him I would adhere, he paid me the nicest compliment I've ever received:
"I'm not worried about you. I can tell by your face, you know how to use the bathroom."
I admit I felt weird flashing the comot, but rules are rules.

Just Add WOW!

Field correspondent Shu provides today's post.  Click the picture to enbiggen.

Normally, 20 cents off wouldn't be that impressive. But when the sign says "WOW!", well 20 cents off? WOW!

Skewed Data? What's That?

I saw this while having lunch at a worldwide fast food chain. Click the picture to enbiggen.

This is a case study on how to ensure you will not get a representative response.  Obviously they only want to hear good things but this is pretty egregious.   The huge "Want a Free Sandwich?".  Having the words "highly satisfied" in a different color.  Repeating "free sandwich". And, my person favorite, having "if you're not satisfied" in much smaller text and telling you to call and not to put that in the survey.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you statistics.